Amazing Race
My Alarm Clock Didn't Go Off!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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I'm leaving on a jet plane...if I can find one

As Team Xerox makes its way out of camp, we go to an interview in which Shola explains that Dad Xerox is from Sierra Leone, so they're feeling terrific about going just about anywhere in Africa. (Granted, where they're going is pretty far away from Sierra Leone, but still, I see his point.) Strangely, I am starting to think I'm going to be able to tell them apart by the time the race is over -- Shola's face is slightly thinner, and his forehead is a little wider than his chin, where Doyin's face is more evenly oval-shaped. I'm probably fooling myself.

10:47 PM. Team Boston. Chris is in a black visor. In a word? Hot. (Just kidding.) He explains that Tara and Wil are the biggest competition Boston has at this point, and that he and Alex are "really good on the road," so teaming up makes all kinds of sense. Wait a minute, why was that again? Oh, I know. Because keeping Tarawil close provides a good view of Tara's ass. Whatever. Boston is coming dangerously close to busting my eye-roll quotient for the season, and we've barely begun.

Also at 10:47, Tarawil. Wil honestly could not look more like a tool if he had a drill bit coming out of the top of his head. He's wearing a pink embroidered peasant-chic shirt, khaki shorts, and a white bucket hat with a yellow stripe around it. Frankly, nothing in this outfit is able to peacefully coexist with anything else in this outfit. The hat wants to have its picture taken with its wife and children in front of the Liberty Bell before hopping on the interstate for the long drive back to its home in Myrtle Beach. The shorts want to put on a white button-down shirt and go to the company barbecue, where they will spend most of the day flirting with everyone else's girlfriend, having too much to drink, and getting into arguments about Derek Jeter. The shirt wants to smoke large amounts of pot, plop its ass in a beanbag chair, and discuss its plans for the world's first environmentally friendly, naturopath-approved, community-based ramen outlet store. There is no common ground. At any rate, Chris voices over about "keeping your enemies close," and says that "at the end," the alliance will have to come to a halt. Ah, perhaps even sooner than that, my neckless petunia.

As Tarawil gets in a cab, Wil says "rápido" to the driver. Yes, again. I know -- it's a wonder they're still alive.

Xerox makes it to the airport first. The ticket agent breaks the news that they're not getting anywhere until tomorrow morning. Welcome to The Really Big Brazilian Bunching -- have a cocktail and feel free to enjoy the floor show, because we're going to be here for a while.

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Amazing Race

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