Amazing Race
My Alarm Clock Didn't Go Off!

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I'm leaving on a jet plane...if I can find one

12:14 AM. Mary and the Fruit read the clue. The Fruit's hair has now gone entirely anti-gravity, and is poofed up in the general direction of the North Star. She's also wearing a shirt with a "1" made out of an American flag pattern. Ah, yes. Patriotism: It's the new black. They're also both wearing their sunglasses on the tops of their heads, despite the fact that it's not going to be light outside for about six hours. As they run toward the cab, the Fruit voices over that "the fear of the unknown definitely frightens [her]" (well, Fruit, fear frightens us all), but she's going to "hang by [Mary's] coattails" and hope for the best. Mary says "rápido" to her driver, too.

12:17 AM. Gary and Dave. Gary explains in an interview that he and Dave are not brilliant. I take out a pen and check this off my list of Things I Already Knew, But Thanks Anyway. He says they'll have to use their "very small skills to climb this very tall mountain." Rock on, Peggy Wood. They run through the jungle.

12:22 AM. Jeebus. Russell explains that he and Cyndi are both winners, because they'd never sacrifice their integrity for a million dollars, and so they're going to be themselves, bleh. Wake me up when they stop talking.

1:14 AM. Cha-Cha-Cha on the mat. Danny notes that the experience thus far has "humbled [him]," because the competition is so tough. As they walk up the path, Danny wonders aloud what their strategy should be, and Oswald says their strategy will be to get there before anybody else. Heh. If anyone present knows any reason why I should not marry Oswald, speak now or forever hold your peace. I'm sorry, what was that? Oh. Well, does anybody know any other reasons?

2:40 AM is the Groanies' departure time, and it's coming and going without their being on the mat. Interestingly enough, as the camera zooms in on their tent, you can faintly hear an alarm clock going off. Of course, it makes no sense that they would have set their alarm for their departure time, so either the cutters are screwing with us and it's not really 2:40, or it's not really their alarm clock going off. Incidentally, the Groanies said on The Early Show that they shared their tent with Blake and Paige, and they all but accused Blake of turning off their alarm so they'd miss their departure time. I don't care for that at all, because they don't seem to have any proof, given that they were asleep the whole time. All we see is Blake, outside their tent looking in, and then walking away from the front of the tent as he voices over that they weren't awake, and he saw that they weren't, and he went back to sleep. I'll give you my guess if they really did share a tent: the alarm went off, and Blake woke up, but the Groanies didn't. He exited the tent to pee or something, and when he got back, he was surprised to see that they were still asleep, so he didn't even unzip the tent and go back in, because he not only didn't want to intentionally wake them up, he didn't want to accidentally wake them up either, so he just walked away from the tent and went and snoozed in the grass or something. It's just a guess. I usually find out later that I'm wrong about these things, but that's what I'm thinking.

Oh, and one more thing. Remember what happened last week, when Peggy engaged in a little unseemly glee about Blake losing the wallet? Remember how we called it "What Goes Around"? Well here it is, Coming Around. Don't let it whap you in the ass on its way by.

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Amazing Race

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