Amazing Race
No Babies On The Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Over Before It Even Staah-ted

"Hoo-rah!" says Ian as they pull the clue sending them to the post office. There's one little moment where he says, "Come ooooon," and she says, "Stop it," and for a minute, it seems like they might fight. Fight! Fight! But they don't. I bet CBS is really mad. It's not like they would have been invited so they could tour the world and get along, those assholes.

The Danny and Oswald cab arrives at the national park where the boats apparently are. They're tightly followed by Eric and Pink. Ultimately, Eric and Pink slightly get their number ahead of Danny and Oswald. It would have been interesting if the circumstances were different, because it looks like Eric pulls the number before Pink is there, and if it mattered, would that be allowed? I don't know. It doesn't matter, because the two teams are literally in the same boat leaving the dock. Teri and Ian arrive shortly thereafter and take number three.

Danny and Oswald and Eric and Pink reach the post office. They get to the clue box. "Come here, darling," says Oswald. "Let's read together the Roadblock." That line, incidentally, is the best single capture of Oswald's precise personality than anything else. Not because he is fabulous and says "darling," but because it's simultaneously very sincere and very funny. Like, he means it. He thinks you're darling. And he really think it's time to read the Roadblock. But he also would like you to smile. Phil explains that in the Roadblock, the chosen person has to "sort mail." Specifically, they have to choose a full mailbag and sort through 1600 envelopes to find one of two addressed to their team. The letter, he says, was written by one of the other teams they originally raced with. When they have their letter, they have to read it out loud to receive their clue.

Oswald takes the Roadblock, as does Eric. Pink says Eric has to do it, because he has all the luck. Good thinking. Oswald starts making piles, but he quickly loses one on the floor and just decides to leave it.

Teri and Ian get a boat by themselves, since nobody else is there yet.

The second charter lands. Teams run from the airport and get cabs, but Rob and Amber aren't out in front as they usually are. (He later said in an interview that their camera guy was held up at customs, which, given their general tendency to be first out of the airport and the fact that we know from past racers that this can happen, certainly seems plausible.) It looks like the first team out is Dustin and Kandice, then Guido, then Uchenna and Joyce. Trailing behind are unsurprisingly Charla and Mirna, and quite surprisingly Rob and Amber. Amber explains that all the available taxis were snapped up by other teams, so now they have to wait. Rob and Amber start walking down the street along which they think a taxi would have to come. Charla and Mirna talk to a guy about calling them a taxi. "This bites," says Rob as he and Amber walk down the road. "If a taxi comes that he called, he will get it first," Charla says, indicating Rob, whom she can see down the street. As they walk down, a taxi shows up, and there's absolutely no indication of whether it's their taxi or not. If they do, their driver doesn't seem to know it. They run down the road trying to flag it down, but Rob and Amber are already in it, and according to my general "the taxi is yours when you're both in it or when the driver accepts your fare" rule, Charla and Mirna lose either way. This doesn't stop them from tapping on the window and so forth. "You're crazy, we called too," Rob says as he sits in the cab. There's certainly no indication that they called, though I suppose they theoretically could have. Either way, it doesn't appear to make any difference, since I think all the cab driver cares about is getting the fare and leaving. Charla and Mirna get another cab, which could also perfectly well be the one they called. In fact, it doesn't seem likely that the one they called would have arrived instantaneously with the phone call, as it appeared that one did, since they barely got walking down the road before it pulled up. Charla whines about how Rob and Amber took "their" taxi. The fact that she has no idea whether this is true doesn't slow her down, because some family traits really are family traits.

I can't believe I've spent more than five years arguing over who is entitled to get in a taxi. I did not go to school for this.

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Amazing Race




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