Amazing Race
No Babies On The Race

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Over Before It Even Staah-ted

6:48 AM. Dustin and Kandice. Kandice interviews that the reason they're inconsistent may be "overthinking." Eh. Sounds like a job-interview response. Or a response from...you know, a pageant. One of those "my weakness is I'm a workaholic" things. I'm not sure I would hire either of them. They head for the airport as Kandice interviews that she thinks they need to prepare and then just not doubt themselves along the way. Relatively level-headed, that. "We haven't even seen Rob and Amber," Dustin notes. "I couldn't even give you an assessment on them." "Rob and Amber are the team to beat," Kandice says, which is no longer just hype after the three consecutive first-place finishes. I mean, you should totally think of it as a reasonable reaction to a team's performance, and not to the world's most obvious foreshadowing, so clumsy that it could form its own dance studio, only it would teach people how to step on each other's feet.

We check in on Rob and Amber, who are looking up the shipwreck, and they're finding so many paintings of it that they're reaching the conclusion that maybe it's a painting and not a real shipwreck. No! Not a painting! Don't go looking for a painting!

6:51 PM. Danny and Oswald. As they leave, Oswald says that they like to have a good time, and that people stupidly think that for this reason, they're not competitive. Of course, they came in fourth in their season, so anyone who thinks that is dumb, which leaves out at least two or three of the teams still in the race. Danny adds that they will always race with "a sense of style," which they would never be without. God, seriously. In the car, Danny talks about people claiming that he snores, and he says he doesn't always. Oswald says he does -- but then Oswald says that the real snorer is...guess. Do you have it? I bet you don't. It's Kandice, of all people. "Attention, men," Oswald cautions, and they laugh. Wouldn't it be funny if Kandice really did need surgery for a deviated septum?

6:53 AM. Teri and Ian. Big Kahunas! "Let's go, sweetie," she says. Who are these adorable people? Ian says in an interview that they might not be as physically strong as other teams. But they have the hats of the mighty, dammit.

8:05 AM. Team Guido. Look at that time differential from last week, incidentally. Joe says they find life at the back of the pack "humbling," and he says that it makes them feel even more competitive. I know I find it humbling for them to be at the back of the pack. It totally makes me feel old. I wonder why that is.

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Amazing Race

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