Amazing Race
Not Worth Their Salt

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 58 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Zip It, Bingo

The sky begins to get light, and the rope is pulled aside some time after sunrise at 7:15. The racers sprint up the pier, Leo & Jamal trying to get around Marie on the path. She stays in the lead while Tim falls behind in the pack that pours onto the gangway so hard that someone warns, "You're going to break the boat." They all wander around the main deck for a minute until somebody spots a posted sign with a little amazing flag logo drawn crudely on the top and the bottom in red and yellow marker. It reads, "During the Battle of Iquique in the War of the Pacific, Chilean National Hero ARTURO PRAT uttered a famous phrase before the sinking of his ship, the Esmeralda." Which I have to say, looks pretty shipshape to me, considering. The clue continues, "Repeat the phrase to the officer -- in Spanish -- to receive your next clue." The phrase is nowhere to be seen, but this is clearly going to be another leg in which teams who know Spanish are going to have an advantage.

Brandon & Adam are the first to spot the sign, but everyone else swarms around them so quickly to read it over their shoulders that it hardly matters. After absorbing the information, teams scatter around the ship looking for clues. Shane compares them after the fact to "rats on the deck of a ship," which is not really the correct saying, but the setting is appropriate so we can allow it. But Ally & Ashley and then Brandon & Adam leave the ship entirely to approach some dude who appears to be just standing there in the parking lot watching. Ally & Ashley can't get anything out of him, but Adam knows enough Spanish to say, "The captain of this ship said something…" The local raises a proud fist and cries, "Charge the ship, men!" Ally tells the guy not to tell anyone else who might come and ask him, like he cares. They return to the boat, where teams are frantically taking notes and Marie has already filled nearly a page of a notebook. Adam & Brandon ignore them and go straight to the Officer of the Day standing at his post on the top deck, where Adam says the phrase, complete with accent and fist-pump.

They're handed a clue envelope right away, which doesn't go unnoticed by Ephraim & Chester on the deck below. The clue is telling them to go to the Irlanda Salt Mines to find their next clue near the salt-corroded Irlanda 3 road sign, so they abandon the boat like rats (which is the correct simile). As Brandon & Adam are leaving, Marie comes up and orders, "Tell me where it is! I have an Express Pass!" And no people skills whatsoever. Adam just tells her to go talk to a guy in the street like they did, which adroitly splits the difference between handing her the answer and telling her to go fuck herself. Ashley utters a close enough approximation of the phrase to earn a clue for herself and Ally in second place. Meanwhile, Adam & Brandon get into a cab driven by the very guy who taught them Arturo Prat's famous quote. The blondes are in a cab behind them, and Ashley celebrates passing Marie & Tim with a Janice-from-Friends laugh that is just as dealbreaking on an unscripted show.

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Amazing Race

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