We're headed for Guam, where a Detour forces the teams to choose between pretending to drop supplies for the needy and actually washing a plane. Hilariously, Charla and Mirna choose the supply drop, because they love to help people, even if those people aren't real. Everybody else washes planes, which turns out to be a pretty hard job. Then, we're on to the Roadblock, in which one team member has to carefully use a GPS device to locate and rescue a pretend injured soldier. Dustin rocks the hell out of the Roadblock, Pink freaks herself out repeatedly, Oswald wanders until the person he's rescuing pretty much waves to him, and Charla can't stop touching the screen, no matter how many times the guy accompanying her says that she's not supposed to touch the screen. In the end, Oswald and Danny finish last, so they're eliminated by their own hand instead of by the non-elimination penalty, which is kind of a good thing. The editors are sure to include tape of Danny and Oswald talking about much they hope Mirna and Charla win because they're such a "class act," which makes it seem like they're talking about different people named Charla and Mirna, but they're apparently not. So we're going into the final three with the BQs and four people I can't stand the idea of seeing win, which makes my odds of being anything other than grossed out only one in three. The only positive aspect of a possible Charla and Mirna win might be to demonstrate once and for all that no one should be invited to an All-Star season who would make a completely vile winner.
Previously on Copping A Moral Turpi-'Tude: Oswald and Danny offered to use their Yield in return for money, and the BQs took them up on it and Yielded Eric and Pink. Eric and Pink had a fit, and Oswald fretted for the rest of the leg about how this was apparently a very, very bad thing to do. Because it's wrong to try to win. Wrong! He will get hate mail! From puppies! CRYING puppies! A Detour taught folks how to ride the noodle pole (come to think of it, I believe Neil Young wrote that song), except for Danny and Oswald, who learned anew how to get lost in the rain. In the end, even though Eric and Pink had a half-hour penalty to deal with, they finished ahead of Danny and Oswald, who were the new carriers of the "marked for elimination" burden. Who will make the final three? What will happen? Will we all care? Or not so much?
Credits. Instead of discussing the credits and the commercials, I am going to use this space to pimp what I'm drinking right now, because it is awesome. Hey, don't assume that it's a margarita, smart-ass, because it isn't. Instead, it is Vignette Wine Country Soda, which you can probably get if you're in the right parts of California or if you're in Minnesota and have a Lund's/Byerly's near you. I got mine in individual bottles up in the cooler, and they look like wee wine bottles. It's nonalcoholic grape soda, kind of, except that it tastes a hundred times better than that makes it sound. It's basically (in my vocabulary) like an excellent and slightly fizzy grape-juice spritzer, and it rocks my socks. It doesn't have sugar or corn syrup, it's not ickily diet, it's half-juice, and you should try it. It's divinely light, and although I happen to be drinking it here with my laptop and the TV on, you could drink it with elegant food or a picnic (a picnic would be perfect; in fact, it makes me want to have one) and it would fit right in. I am not being paid to say this, but I will tell you that drinking it will support a fellow TWoPper, so try it: Vignette Wine Country Soda. End pimp! [BOMP.]
Phil welcomes us back to Macau, which has been a "way station for trade" for five hundred years, like all pit stops. Nearby island of Taipa, actual pit stop, you get it. This was the eleventh of our pit stops, and Phil wonders whether Oswald and Danny can get past their thirty-minute penalty and stay in the race. And what will become of the infuriated, morally outraged Eric and Pink? We know they won't be Yielded again, so what will Eric use as ammunition in his fight against the world's injustices? Will he check his self-righteous bullshit, or stuff it into the overhead compartment?