Amazing Race
Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Have Guam, Will Travel

2:15 AM. Dustin and Kandice. They rip the clue, which tells them to fly to Guam, which is about 7500 miles. Do you know where Guam actually is? I realized that I didn't entirely, so if you wish your girlfriend was dumb like me and she actually is, you can show her this shot. When they land, they'll drive nine miles to Andersen Air Force Base, where they'll choose a military escort to drive them to an air traffic control tower. They'll climb to the top of the tower to get their clue. Boy, this should be great. I don't know about you, but I watch the race for frivolous fun and a view of the rest of the world, and nothing says "let's embrace the rest of the world's cultures in the spirit of entertainment" quite like the U.S. military. Dustin says that she and Kandice know how important this leg is, and that they've gone home in the past and don't really want to go home this time. They make their way to the ferry and think they can catch it without anyone else being on it with them.

2:50 AM. Charla and Mirna. Charla interviews as they leave that she was kind of so-so on racing again, because it's tough on her physically, and "having the best racers of The Amazing Race compete against you is even more scary." Well, I can see that being a concern, had that actually happened -- had, for instance, more than ONE winning team been invited back. I mean...come on, now. I don't necessarily take the position that an All-Star season has to be entirely based on merit, but you have to live in reality. You think Eric and Pink and Mary and Dave were more formidable competition than, say, Rob and Brennan, Chris and Alex, and Flo and Zach would have been? Give me a break, dude. This is why it's really a priority for me that they in particular do not win this, because you just know they'll see it as "best of the best," which it isn't. It wouldn't be true, but you couldn't excise that delusion from Mirna's brain with a hacksaw and an ice-cream scoop. They get there and apparently come close to catching the same ferry as the BQs, but ultimately, they don't. That's going to put them an hour behind the BQs.

3:06 AM. Eric and Pink. "We didn't come through all this crap to lose," he says. At the ferry terminal, they run into Charla and Mirna. Eric speculates about the BQs going to the airport to look into flights (not suspecting, I think, that they could have made an earlier ferry), and Mirna chortles, "Charla says they don't know how to use the internet." Charla immediately is annoyed by this, because it's clearly not what she said. It's a little like that time Mirna wanted to pal around with Eric about hating the BQs, and she kind of didn't realize that she was playing petty all by herself. Here, Charla carefully clarifies that she certainly didn't say that; all she said is that she hasn't seen them choose to use the internet to research flights. Mirna laughs all huh-huh-huh, because this is how she reaches out to other people, sadly enough, and she really wants to make friends with Eric and Pink.

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Amazing Race

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