Amazing Race
Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War

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Have Guam, Will Travel

In last place, Danny and Oswald head for the airport. When they arrive, they learn of the very-very-soon flight leaving for Guam. As the other two teams are boarding, Danny and Oswald are heading at top speed through the airport. But when they get to the counter, the lady tells them that they won't make it. But, as she says, "We have next flights still can." She must have been talking to Mirna. Specifically, there's a flight leaving at 10:15, which will also take them to Tokyo, the first stopover on the other flight. It will give them a very, very short layover, but if all goes well, they can get on the same Tokyo-Guam flight as everyone else. They're just hoping that they can "haul ass" and make the connection. The Amazing Yellow Line and the lollygagging Amazing Orange Line show us how the teams are going to Guam via Tokyo, which is not a straight line, so much, you'll notice.

In Tokyo, the lead teams get set to make their connection. They all agree that they haven't seen Danny and Oswald at all, and then all of a sudden, there are Danny and Oswald, landing in Tokyo. They head to the desk, and they're told, "You need to hurry; the plane is boarding now." The other three teams are on the flight, wondering where Danny and Oswald ended up, as the boys run through the airport. Eric doubts that they'll make the flight. Oswald notes that it's "always the last gate," and I feel him on that, because every time I go into or out of Minneapolis, I wind up out at the end of this ridiculously long concourse where you have to take about twenty moving sidewalks and ride on the back of a goat to get to your gate. I don't know what flights use the nearby gates, but I think they just go back and forth to Milwaukee or something. "If we don't make this flight, we'll be dead, dead, dead, dead," Oswald says as he runs.

Commercials. Die, gnome!

We come back to the Tokyo airport, where the other teams are pretty happy with the apparent fact that Danny and Oswald aren't going to make this flight. But they get on the flight, and...nobody talks to them. Heh. Nobody is happy to see them, which probably isn't personal, except maybe for Eric and Pink. Eric interviews that he "hates" Danny and Oswald and has nothing to say to them. It's not good for your pecs to hang on to that kind of a grudge, Eric. They'll harden. Oswald voices over that it felt like Alaska instead of Japan, because they "felt the cold breeze" coming from other teams.

After a weird patriotic transitional doodad that looks like the credit sequence of Major Dad, we are in Guam at night, and all the teams are scurrying off the plane. They run outside and find marked cars, and Danny and Oswald are actually the first ones to get out of the airport. The rest of the teams follow. When Danny and Oswald get to the Visitors' Center at the Air Force base, they learn that it's all closed, and that their escorts will be available beginning at 7:00 AM. So in all likelihood, whether Danny and Oswald made that flight didn't make that much difference; they had about nine hours to get another one.

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Amazing Race

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