Amazing Race
Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Have Guam, Will Travel

Meanwhile, Eric and Pink find the base, while Danny and Oswald are hunting for it. Oswald and Danny get a taxi guy to lead them there. Dustin seems to have pretty good luck elsewhere using the GPS, because she seems to understand at a basic level the way it works. Eric and Pink pull up at the Roadblock box and ask Kandice if she and Dustin are the only ones there, which she confirms. Pink takes the Roadblock. Eric explains that while this Roadblock would be better for him, he's already done all of his, so she's on all Roadblocks from this point forward. He tells Kandice that Pink can't even read a compass. Mirna and Charla are next to arrive at the Roadblock marker. Everyone is surprised that Danny and Oswald haven't made it yet. Charla takes the Roadblock. As she's leaving, Mirna repeats what appears to be part of the directions, saying, "You should not press any buttons." Charla keeps up a sort of running monologue talking about the hard job that the Navy guys have, and I feel for her, because she feels like she should talk to the dude, and she's not sure what to say. And what she says comes out kind of goofily endearing, like when she tells him that it's not surprising that military people get so many discounts. See, her, I think I don't have that much of a problem with. It's the other one.

Dustin seems close to finding her guy. Pink, not so much. Dustin finds her way to the guy, who's kind of hiding in the bushes. I think her guy, as it turns out, is actually a woman, who gives her the next set of coordinates. Pink is very close to her pilot, but she doesn't seem to be able to find him. I think for some of these people, it's not clear that the GPS will get you there, but you may have to look around a little to find the actual person. Like, the GPS won't necessarily lead you into the lap of the pilot. Charla, meanwhile, is having problems, and the guy she's with reminds her that she wasn't supposed to touch any buttons. He fixes it for her. Dustin runs for the landing zone, and on her way, she spots Pink, who is very unhappy about walking into a spider web. With spiders included. [Shudder.] Pink finally finds her pilot and gets coordinates, so now she just has to find that landing zone. Charla is told once again that she wasn't supposed to touch the screen or the buttons. Man. This is like teaching a three-year-old not to push bologna sandwiches into the VCR.

At last, Oswald and Danny find their way to the Visitors' Center and pick up their escort. Dustin finds the landing zone, and she picks up the radio and is all, "Night rider, night rider, this is DL." I'm assuming it's not actually Knight Rider, although how cool would that be, right? ["It didn't occur to me that it wasn't that. I am a dork." -- Sars] The helicopter takes off to come fetch her. Dustin is fetched after tossing the smoke grenade to mark where she is, so she goes up in the helicopter. "This is so cool!" she says. As the helicopter comes back, Eric is hoping that it's Pink, and of course, it takes some time to figure out who it is, because Dustin and Pink look somewhat alike all geared up, but Dustin happily returns to Kandice, raving about how much fun it was. This is Dustin's happy day, where they love the military and discuss nail care and throw grenades. Yay! They open the clue, which tells them to drive to the pit stop, eleven miles to Fort Soledad. Last team "will be eliminated." They leave Mirna and Eric to wait.

Pink is very sad. And crying. And the guy is telling Charla to follow the GPS, obviously kind of baffled as to why she's having so much trouble. Finally, Danny and Oswald make it to the Roadblock clue, and they're happy just to see that other people are still here doing the task and aren't all gone already. Oswald takes the Roadblock. Pink, meanwhile, is out on the course fretting, primarily over her concern that Eric is going to be really mad. And again -- yes, again -- Charla is being told that she wasn't. Supposed. To touch. The screen. I take it back. Now it's like teaching a cat not to eat plants.

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Amazing Race

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