Amazing Race
Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Have Guam, Will Travel

In the BQ car, Dustin is talking about what a great time she had. In fact, she says that just being around all this military stuff makes her proud to be an American. It's not like I'm not proud to be an American, but I don't know that I'd feel more so after being around a couple of military bases. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I don't entirely see eye-to-eye with someone who decided to enter the Miss America pageant. They arrive at the pit stop and run to the mat. They are, unsurprisingly, team number one. Phil welcomes them to the final three. They each win an ATV, which they are very jazzed about -- especially Dustin. "Do you have any idea how many toys you guys now have?" Phil asks. And: seriously.

Pink is wandering aimlessly. Charla is wandering aimlessly. Oswald feels like he's right there, but he doesn't see the pilot. The camera guy does, though -- the pilot is in the bushes right nearby. "I don't know what to do," Pink moans.

Commercials.

When we come back, Pink gets advice from her guide, who says that she thinks Pink is accidentally hitting side buttons that are throwing off her GPS. This seems to put her back on track. Elsewhere, I think someone concludes that Oswald's guy is more hidden in the bushes than he's meant to be, so we find him standing up. And kind of waving. So now, Oswald sees him. I do love the fact that when Oswald comes over and is like, "You were right here all the time?", the guy just dryly says, "It's good camouflage." That is really funny. One point for the military man. Oswald gets his coordinates.

Finally, Pink finds the landing zone. She radios for rescue. The helicopter comes and fetches her.

Charla and Oswald are still going through the brush looking for the landing zone.

Eric is very happy to see Pink arrive next. He even puts an arm around her. It's like they're friends! They leave for the pit stop in second place.

Charla, Oswald. Charla, Oswald. And the first to the landing zone is Charla, but not by much. She's very happy that anybody is behind her. As Oswald watches a fully suited-up Charla run to the helicopter, he says, "Oh my God, the Teletubbies go to war." Which is wicked and funny, but kind of...mean, especially considering she isn't the one who sucks. PICK ON THE ONE WHO SUCKS. Anyway, Oswald now gets his pickup as well.

Of course, the scene back at the spot where Danny and Mirna are waiting is shot in a way that encourages us all to be really happy that it's Charla getting out of the plane. I feel like somebody putting this show together really wants me to root for Charla and Mirna, and I just can't understand it at all. It feels like a miscalculation of epic proportions, the way every move they make is accompanied by the sweeping music and everything. You have to match the music to what's happening. There's a reason that when the Wicked Witch of the West gets on her bike, that's not when "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" plays, you know? Danny hugs them as they leave, which is better than they deserve. Oswald finally gets there, and they leave for the pit stop. In the car, Oswald rehearses the hissyfit he's going to throw when Phil tells them they're eliminated. Heh.

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Amazing Race

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