Amazing Race
Oh, Wow! It's Like One Of Those Things You See On TV!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Birdcages, Flowers, And John McCain

The best part of this whole thing is when Tom gets up in the girls' faces and is like, "We were friends with you guys! We thought we could trust you!" This from the guy who proudly proclaimed he wasn't there to make friends. It's interesting how other people's ruthlessness is evil, and yours is "just a game." Tom mutters to Terry, "They are not going to win a beauty pageant of kindness." I have to say, "a beauty pageant of kindness" just about broke my twee-o-meter, and what the hell is a beauty pageant of kindness? Isn't the joke, "They're not going to win a kindness pageant"? It's still stupid, but it's less random, and at least it makes grammatical sense. ["Or at the very least haul out the tried-and-true 'Miss Congeniality' line. It's creaky, but it's less 'jerk store' awkward." -- Joe R] I would also point out that this emphasizes that Tom didn't think they should have gotten tickets first out of fairness -- just kindness. As a favor. Because we're all in love here. Be kind! Lie down and let me pass you! I think Tom is not going to win a beauty pageant of logic.

9:02 AM. Lyn and Karlyn. Lyn says that she wants the money, but the race is very painful and not glamorous. Just like childbirth! Oh, come on. I don't need weekly childbirth jokes, y'all. They're perfectly nice ladies, so let's just let them talk. About, you know, things other than their official show gimmick. On the other hand, an epidural would make some episodes a little easier for me to tolerate.

All the teams at the travel agency wind up getting the same flight to Vietnam, going through Beijing and arriving in Hanoi at 9:00 PM. They are assured that this is the fastest way, so between this and the bunch waiting for the travel agency to open, this flight appears to have been everyone's destiny from the start. The *wins and *lyns follow, and Mary fills them in on the flight information to make sure nothing goes wrong. Aw. It's an alliance of the bottom-feeders, and I can always get behind that.

As everyone waits to leave, Dave wraps up Mary's ankle, which you'll remember she sprained at the end of the last leg. She tells him not to wrap it too tight, because it still hurts, but he reminds her that she'll have to "suck it up" when it comes to some of the challenges. "I've gotta keep going," she says in an interview, "'cause I didn't leave my kids for nothing." Aw. Good mom. I think it's pretty clear that she's going to benefit a ton from this experience in ways that are totally going to trickle down to her kids, so I think she already didn't leave them for nothing. Still, might as well wrap up the ankle and do your best.

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Amazing Race

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