Amazing Race
Oh, Wow! It's Like One Of Those Things You See On TV!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Birdcages, Flowers, And John McCain

Terry and Tom get themselves a cab. Duke and Lauren? Still waiting around. They finally go chase down their Fern so that they can leave. In the taxi, Duke is upbeat, but Lauren saw everyone -- everyone -- go past them, and she's worried. I will warn you right now, this is an episode of many fake-outs in terms of what's going to be significant.

Dustin and Kandice drive along, hoping they're near the prison. And then suddenly, they come upon a traffic delay in the form of an overturned truck. For whatever reason, like curious looky-loos throughout history, they get out to see what's going on. Rob and Kimberly pass, followed by Tyler and James, who think it's pretty amusing that the moral of this leg so far is that rubbernecking doesn't pay. The rest of the teams all come upon the wreck as well, with the exception of Duke and Lauren, who have of course been taken in a different direction and are avoiding the wreck altogether. The bad news for them, however, is that their Fern has actually told the driver to take her to her brother's first. It's unlikely that she's going to see her brother at the prison in the middle of the night unless this show is about to get a lot more interesting, so this is not good news for Duke and Lauren. And how far is it from Fern's brother's house to the prison? "Thirty minutes," she tells them. Bad Fern! "Now, we're last," Lauren frets. I do think Lauren is underestimating the likelihood that whatever they're going to in Vietnam won't open until morning, because that's hardly unusual in these situations.

Commercials. Hey, what can I say? America loves a feisty girl with a prosthetic leg.

When we return, Duke and Lauren are getting more bad news -- the fare from the airport will be between $10 and $20. And of course, they only have $11. They get Fern dropped off, but as they drive on, Lauren is concerned about getting in trouble with the police for failing to pay their driver. Oh, Lauren. That couldn't happen! I mean, not unless you were an arrogant megalomaniacal jackass!

Tyler and James and the Pointies hit the prison and learn that it opens at 8:00 AM. Very soon, the gang is all here, with the exception of Duke and Lauren. Of course, everyone's waiting until tomorrow morning, so who cares? Peter is excited about being able to say he "camped out in Vietnam." I have a feeling Peter often gets jazzed about what he's going to be able to say about himself, which is sort of why I don't like him. I have the sense that his internal PR department never rests. Duke and Lauren get to the prison, and Duke pats his pockets and explains to their cabbie that the $11 he's giving is all the money he has. While the cabbie blanches, he eventually takes the money and shakes Duke's hand. I hate it when this happens, because the driver is getting ripped off, and the reason they don't get in trouble is that (1) it's not cost-effective for him to bicker, and (2) they have cameras with them. It just makes me uneasy every time. You don't have someone provide a service you've agreed to pay for knowing that you can't pay for it, and I really don't like it when the teams are like, "Oh, this guy was so kind." "Kind" is what the guy is if you tell him up front, "I don't have the money; can you take me anyway?" This is something different; not so much kindness as failure to call the police when put over a barrel. It's not like I hate them or anything, but it's really just about the worst thing they do to the locals, and even nice teams occasionally do it. To me, riding in a taxi is an agreement that you have the money. If you don't, you don't take the taxi.

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Amazing Race

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