Amazing Race
One Of You, I'm Gonna Break In Half

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Soup to nuts

Gus eats soup. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Doesn't seem to bother him too much. Maybe he got Consolation Soup that was less spicy. They get out and get a cab.

As Hornio ascends in the cab, they agree that the funicular is "dope." Is "dope" still in play? Man. Everything old is new again. Meanwhile, Hayden and Aaron are running up the stairs. When Hornio reaches the top, Rebecca spots some kind of guard change in progress, and says she wants to stop and watch. "Yeah. I'll bring you back," El Hornio says. Hee. Cute. The gist here is that Hornio is walking, and Hayden and Aaron are running. So the teams wind up in sight of each other trying to get to the pit stop. First to the pit stop, however...are Aaron and Hayden. Welcome, Funny Man And Annoying, Shrewish Girlfriend. You're team number four. Why she is wearing a bitchface is very mysterious, so I'm starting to think her face froze that way, just like your mother always told you. Welcome, Hornio, you are team number five. They hug. Kind of.

Nuance gets to the pit stop. Gus and Hera are on the way. Look, we can build suspense here, but Gus and Hera are pretty clearly very far behind, and unsurprisingly, Nuance hits the mat first. Not happy about sixth, but at least they're not out. Gus and Hera, on the other hand? Yes. Welcome, you are Philiminated. "We had a really long day," Hera sniffles. "What happened?" Phil asks kindly. "It was just one thing after another," Gus says. He tells us that his bond with Hera is "forged in steel," and she says that she has indeed gotten a closer relationship with her father. "My daughter will always be my daughter, but now my daughter is my friend," Gus voices over. I liked them. I will miss them.

But I will tell you, this show is losing me.

Executive Producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.

Next week: Adam drowns. Okay, probably not.

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Amazing Race

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