Amazing Race
One Of You, I'm Gonna Break In Half

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Soup to nuts

Phil tells us about how the first team to find and perform the Fast Forward will skip the rest of the leg and go to the pit stop. In good news, he does use the phrase, "Most advantageous to go for it." In bad news, this Fast Forward requires you to drink a glass of pig's blood. Ew. Bolo and Lori, having spent this entire uber-leg not sleeping and being behind and generally being miserable, are smart enough to recognize this as an excellent FF opportunity, and they decide to head for that. Besides, if anyone were ever going to embrace blood-drinking, you have to think it would be these people. God knows what weird-ass nutritional supplements they already take. The car takes them back to the start, where they hop out.

In second place are Aaron and Hayden. They zing down the tracks. They pull the clue, and Aaron breaks my heart by pronouncing "Hungary's most famous river" as "the Da-NOOB." Oh, Aaron. You are such a...well, a noob. I think Phil explains that this clue actually tells them to get to an island on the Dan-YOOB, and find a clue at something called the Hajos Alfred at the Nemzeti Sportuszoda. I might be making that whole thing up, though. In the little car, Hayden tells Aaron she's sure Lori and Bolo will go for the FF, so they apparently don't consider it for that reason. And indeed, outside, we see Lori and Bolo grab a taxi and head for the FF. Lori says in the cab that she didn't appreciate Freddy trying to blame them for bringing the gate down when they were "long gone" by the time he got smacked. True, that. And then Bolo really gets going, noting, "'You messed my face up, you messed my face up, wahhh!' Ain't gonna take no pictures with that face. Supermodel!" Yeah, hilarious. Because if there's anyone who has no vanity, it's a bodybuilding pro wrestler whose wife openly discusses her implants. You want to watch that, there, smarty.

Hayden and Aaron hop out of the car, Kris and Jon hop in. And as they go, she turns to him and says over the noise, "Oooh, it's very vibratey," and then she makes a devilish, grinning face that lets you know that she absolutely said that on purpose, which is why it's hysterically funny and not irritating. They are damn near redeeming this entire season for me, and they're sneaking up on being my favorite team ever, in all six seasons, just in terms of the balance between heart, humor, cute, and damn-I'm-jealous. At the very least, they're my favorite team that's ever become a favorite just by being awesome, rather than by being funny, which is the most reliable way to fight your way into my heart. Kris also cracks up as she tries to read that tongue-twisting clue, which...exactly. Just say something, and then admit you might be making it up, Kris. People are kind. They'll understand.

Hayden and Aaron are trying to get a cab. As Kris and Jon hop out of the car, she comments, "I want to go again." Well, sure. It's very vibratey. El Hornio says, "Choo-choooo!" as they depart. Which is really kind of not necessary, as it's not that kind of train. Elsewhere, Hayden and Aaron are still taxi-hunting, while Kris and Jon appear to get one nearly right away. In fact, as they leave, they go by Aaron and a very unhappy Hayden, who asks, "How did that happen?" If she thinks that can't happen, she definitely hasn't seen the show enough. Or tried to catch a cab in Manhattan. I shall never master the proper selection of corners. Anyway, in one of my favorite subtle, funny moments of the episode, Kris points out of the back of the cab and says, "We just passed Harron and Ayden [sic], they're by the side of the road, walking." "Aaron and Hayden," Jon says. She knows immediately what she did, and says, "Did I say it wrong?" "Harron and Ayden," he tells her. She laughs. "I always say that!" Hee hee. I love them. Have I mentioned?

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Amazing Race

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