Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Never Get In a Shouting Match with a Deaf Guy

Mark and Michael have landed in Guilin, and in their cab to Qing Xiu Li, Michael says he's optimistic and wants to stay positive. They should just let Michael do all the talking.

Margie and Luke are also closing in on the hair salon, and they spot Kisha and Jen walking by. The sisters are tired of hoofing it, so they get in another cab and have it follow the other team. Jen says she doesn't trust Margie and Luke. "They sent us in the wrong direction when we were in Bangkok," she says, not entirely accurately. There's a black-and-white flashback to that incident, and then Jen says they need to keep them in sight. Meanwhile, up ahead, Margie is saying that she's never seen Luke this competitive before. "During the race, I am very competitive," he says in a solo interview. "Sometimes, I'm not patient." We're building up to something here, aren't we? They get out of their cab near the hair salon, and quickly spot the Speed Bump sign. "Where's the clue box?" Margie wonders. Well, it's right there in front of the Speed Bump sign, geniuses, but somehow they both miss it and start crowding into the hair salon behind it. Kisha and Jen make the same mistake, and then we get one of those shots that Amazing Cameramen must get up every morning hoping to capture, which is four entire Amazing Racers all standing within a ten-foot radius of the clue box, all of them utterly oblivious to its presence. I once considered going to a Halloween party as an Amazing clue box, but then I realized that nobody would be able to see me. Luke nearly runs into the thing, for God's sake.

And here's where it starts. "We both spot the clue at the same time," Jen says in a post-leg interview. "I yelled 'Mom,' we went running," Luke says through Margie. "We just charged it pretty much at the same time," Jen says. What actually happens is that Luke gets to the clue box first, and is still reaching inside it when Jen comes rushing up. For a moment she has his hands on his sides, and he looks like he's trying to block her from the box with his body. And when she tries to go around him, he throws an elbow before getting out of her way. "Ooh, bitch!" Jen says as she gets her own clue. She signs it as well. Where'd she pick that up? "Wow," Kisha marvels. Luke tells his version: "When I went to grab the clue, she pushed me." But Jen insists, "He pretty much body-checked me. He, like, he gave me an elbow, and I called him a bitch, because it was a bitch move." While all this talking is going on, we've seen two whole instant replays of the incident, including one with a gong noise on the soundtrack. Because we're in China, you know. In the cab, Luke angrily signs, "Time to get dirty now." Margie's trying to calm him down, saying he can't be physical or push. "He definitely, like, bumped her twice," Kisha says in her cab with Jen. And Margie tells Luke that Jen called him a bitch. Anyone have a problem with her telling him that? Because she's taken on the task of translating the world for him, not editing it. And yes, Jen signed it as well, but we have no way of knowing whether either of them saw it. Besides, Jen's still saying it. "Game on, they're bitches," Jen is saying in the cab behind them. Luke says in a joint interview that it's a good thing he's deaf. "If I had heard her yell at me, call me a bitch, it would have been on." As Miss Alli says, saying "it's on" kind of loses some of its impact when you have to do it through your mom.

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Amazing Race




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