4:19 AM. Lorena and Jason. They rip open their clue, which tells them to, as Lorena says it, "fly to Ooh-ahn-doo-goo." She seems very excited about this and says "Woo!," despite the fact that she clearly has no idea whether Ouagadougou is a luxuriously decorated castle or a pimple on the fanny of Satan. Phil explains that the teams will need to figure out that Ouagadougou is a city in Burkina Faso (and not, for instance, a punchline or a novelty song), and that they're actually expected to go there. Our introduction to Ouagadougou is accompanied by a wonderful shot of camels participating in the Olympic sport of synchronized chewing. After they get to Ouagadougou (I learned to spell it, and so did Microsoft Word, and we're going to enjoy it as long and as often as we can), they'll take a taxi to the city train station, where they'll find another clue. Jason tells us that Lorena has "issues," and he compares it to The Exorcist, in that he expects her head to spin around at any moment. Flattering! Marry him now, before someone else does! He tells us that these are things they'll need to figure out. I would indeed have to agree that if my boyfriend told a world full of strangers that I reminded him from something out of one of the best-known horror movies of all time, I might think to myself, "We have things we need to figure out."
4:30 AM. Nathan and Jennifer. (Her pronunciation: "Oo-OO-ga-doo-wow." As it happens, my best friend and I have a theory that every business and professional operation needs an "aa-WOO-gah" button that you can push when you get stressed out, and if you want to know what she sounds like, she's pretty much pushing it right now.) He tells us that if he does anything wrong, she will "kick [his] butt for it." Hooray! Get married! You too! Right away! I'll make the mini-quiches! Jen tells us that Nate is "lippy" and needs to watch his mouth, admitting that she's also bad, but that she's been working on it. As you know, if you're "working on it," it doesn't count. It's like "it's the real me" in that way. If it's the real you and you're working on it, it's fine.
4:31 AM. Shana and Jennifer. They rip open the clue. Shana actually gets pretty close to pronouncing Ouagadougou correctly. Her boo must be so proud. She interviews that they may not look as nice as they'd like, but that they want to win. It's interesting to see how women who normally are heavily kept-up in that L.A. sort of way often look the most haggard once they start missing parts of their routine. Like, with the processed hair and the top-shelf beauty treatments, they get to a point where their ability to look naturally cute in a "tired, sweaty, but still cute" sort of way is all gone. What I'm trying to say is that Shana and Jennifer look really old and beat-up right now, much more than I think they would if they weren't working so freakishly hard to look twenty-three the rest of the time. I feel bad about pointing it out, because I'm aging myself and rapidly becoming horrifically vain about it, but there it is. I AM SORRY.