Amazing Race
Please, Lord, Give Me Milk

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Camel Kicks And Milk

The next morning, Ouagadougou's economy is off to a bustling start for the day, with all the eating and drinking and transporting of goods. It's finally time for the train to leave, so the teams all get on board. Several of the teams comment on the strong smell of the people walking by, though it doesn't seem particularly mean in intent to me. I mean...people smell different in different places, and noting that fact, in and of itself, doesn't seem to me like a particularly evil deed if you're doing it quietly and without the sneer of "they're so dirty" that all too often accompanies this kind of talk.

In better news, Nate and Jen enjoy watching the action in a soccer game they can see out the window, which is sort of endearing. He's on the play by play; she's on "Get it!" Heh. Shana and Jennifer are a little more unhappy, and Jennifer takes herself out of the running for Most Gracious Visitor when she busts out the very unfortunate comment, "These people bring flies." That is not cool. It's sort of the boiled-down, ultra-pure version of the wrong way to look at the situation, like there are flies here because of the nature of the people, which is absurd. "These people" don't bring flies any more than you would if you lived in the same conditions, lady. She tells us that she couldn't live like this, and that, I do not doubt. Hendekea interviews, in a way that's kind of "duh" at this point, that she thinks Shana and Jennifer are pretty uncomfortable in Africa. Azaria, on the other hand, says that to him, it has the feel of home, and he's glad to have the opportunity to come here. Nate gives the speech somewhere in between -- the one where he says that it's kind of shocking to realize that parts of the world are really like this. It's not the best response I've eve heard, but it's not the worst, either. He's sheltered, but you know...we're all sheltered. His tone is clarified when he tops it off with the assertion that they're all lucky to be here. I think Nate's okay, in his particular way. We wouldn't be pals, but I sense a core of okay-guy in there.

Bingo is called when the contestants all really are genuinely peeking out the windows and feeling like they are in the middle of nowhere at all, just as Phil promised. Everybody piles out of the train, Ron's hernia still hurts, blah blah blah. Finally, everybody spots the clue box and runs over to it -- it's kind of "by a tree," as far as directions, so you can see why there weren't any -- and it's a clue for a Roadblock asking "who's ready to work up a thirst." Phil, strolling across the savannah -- looking attractive as hell in his blazing-weather-appropriate white shirt -- tells us that this will require a team member to do a chore often performed by local nomads (oxymoron?): milking a camel. The team member will milk a camel to fill a bowl up to a line, and then drink the milk. It's not unfamiliarity that makes me cringe at that; I wouldn't want to drink warmish milk I just squeezed directly from a cow, either. The immediacy and the possibility of foreign objects or, like, hair in it just...would put me off my camel's milk, if you know what I mean. But in any event, once the contestants have had the milk, they'll receive their next clue. Phil adds that you have to avoid spilling your milk, or you may not get enough, and if your camel goes dry, you have to wait for everyone else to finish milking before you can take one of their camels. So you really want to try to pick the right camel the first time around, and you don't want to waste the milk, because every camel's supply is limited. Azaria takes it, and Vyxsin, and Nate, and some other people, but most emphatically, Lorena takes it for her team. Apparently, the clue says that camels are sensitive to both movement and loud noises. So...not so much with those things, I guess. Lorena should have no problem remaining calm and composed, right? Hey, there's a first time for everything.

TK begins with the words "Good job, camel." With that, he forfeits the prize for Most Creative Camel-Encouragement Mantra, although it's a little more amusing since he says it in a voice bearing a slight resemblance to the Jim Gaffigan "Hot Pocket" delivery. Lorena starts with shrieking, which is a great way to introduce yourself to animals who are sensitive to loud noises. Every time the camel moves, Lorena gives a little cry of despair. I think that's genuinely the precise opposite of what she's supposed to be doing. Azaria is moving too slowly for Hendekea, so she's yelling at him. Nathan's adventures in inoffensive swearing continue as he actually yells, "Fudge!" Actually, "Aw, fudge!" "Nathan, you've got to be gentle; you're handling nipples!" Jen hollers. That's not even good for an "in bed" joke, because...I don't know. It's like the "busted box" joke that went around in the TWoP bullpen during the cable installation. It's taking candy from a baby. It's too easy. No challenge. Make me work for it! Anyway, Julia's camel begins to roar, and she apologizes to the camel before asking her to stop roaring. The camel takes it under advisement.

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Amazing Race

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