Amazing Race
Quit Following Us

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hysterical Landmarks

Nuance's cab pulls up to the Detour clue, and we get a rare shot of an Amazing Cameraman's Amazing Right Foot, stepping out of the taxi before it's even come to a full stop. Lest anyone think those guys don't work hard. Freddy and Kendra decide to do Beers, even though they don't know what steins are. Do they make contestants flunk a vocabulary quiz before they cast them these days? Meanwhile, Don and Mary Jane, currently in last place (a phrase that is now permanently burned into the lower right corner of my screen, so thanks, guys) wander around the train station near the church.

Jonathan and Victoria arrive at the sausage-making place and get right to work at a sausage press. Victoria slides the sausage skin over the tube with a facility that makes it very difficult for me not to speculate on her former career. She and Jonathan work together quietly, calmly, and productively. I bang on the side of my TV to get it working again.

At the Brauhaus, an older woman is wandering up and down the aisles playing the accordion. I wonder if she's always there, or if she's Jerry Bruckheimer's aunt. Aaron and Hayden hit the Brauhaus and start bothering the drinkers. I think Aaron's got three beers in each hand. That's going to get heavy fast. Nuance arrives and gets to work with a better strategy: they split up a little, and Freddy actually picks people's beers up and looks under them. They quickly secure two coasters.

At the Citadel, real sausage-masters (wurstmeisters, unless I'm just making that up) laugh at Jonathan and Victoria as they measure what looks to be their third link.

Back at the bar, Hayden and Aaron have adopted Nuance's strategy, and the two teams run neck and neck to four coasters each.

And at the plaza near the church, Don and MJ are lost and frustrated and about ready to plotz. Geddit? Because platz is German for -- oh, never mind.

But right now, you need to worry more about buying the stuff in these commercials for Christmas, or your family won't love you.

Don and MJ are about ready to start walking all around the plaza again, until Don spots the "goddamn clue box." They pull the clue. "I always wanted to make sausage," Don says in their cab to the Citadel.

Jonathan and Victoria tie off their fifth link and get their clue. "We're in front, we're in front," Jonathan says. I don't know how he knows he's ahead of the teams that picked Beer, but whatever. The clue and the Phil VO tells them to go five miles to Teufelsberg, which is German for "Devil's Mountain" (I didn't know that last part; Phil said it). Jonathan and Victoria head out. She points out that he's got her bag, and he moves to give it back to her, but she says it's okay and picks his up. "Oh, yours is so much lighter than mine. Are you kidding me?" Which is all it takes to end Jonathan's good mood. "Let's go," he snaps. "I want to go to a cab. Let's go."

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Amazing Race

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