Amazing Race
Quit Following Us

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hysterical Landmarks

Lori and Bolo are arriving just then, and Jonathan screams at her to hurry so they can grab their cab. Which is a valid thing to want to do, but it really only takes one of them to hold the taxi while the other catches up. And there's probably a way to communicate it without shrieking. Victoria runs to catch up with Jonathan. "Every time I tell you we have a head start, you always sit there lazy," he bitches. Maybe you need to stop telling her that, then. Victoria tells him to leave her alone. "I never promised to leave you alone," Jonathan said. "That's why I married you." And then he tries to pretend he doesn't find himself clever. That doesn't even make sense. Unless all of his other marital prospects stipulated that he leave them alone, which helps his comment to suddenly make sense on every possible level.

Lori and Bolo try to figure out how to work their sausage press. She barks orders at him shrilly. "Why you gotta be a bitch?" he asks. Hey, maybe she's on steroids.

At the Brauhaus, the two Beer teams direct each other to their fifth beer mats. "Enjoy your beersss," Aaron says to his last group of customers. Freddy and Hayden collect their teams' clues while their partners suck down as much beer as they can. Heh. Both teams grab cabs to Teufelsberg, but Hayden and Aaron's driver doesn't know where it is. "I will get directions," she says. She wanders off; then we see them all back in the cab, as the driver reads the clue over her radio to the dispatcher. She asks for an address. Aaron tells her, "We have to go on faith in God." Hayden snips at Aaron, "I hope you're right." While she busies herself with the clue envelope, Aaron makes an eloquent gesture at her that manages to encompass "What are you talking about?" and "Right about what?" and "What is it you want from me?" and "Do you have a better idea?" all at once. It's kind of a shame that Hayden misses it. Their cab pulls away.

Gus and Hera get to work at the Brauhaus. Hera explains the task to her dad and then starts bugging people: "Pictures? No pictures? Hera? Black people?"

Hornio arrives at the Citadel, asking the wrestlers, "Is it hard?" Oh, they're getting right to it, aren't they? They start on their first link as Lori and Bolo call the supervisor over to measure their links. Their links are too short, so they have to start over. El Hornio watches this, and Rebecca tells him to pay attention to what he's doing. "Oh, I'm paying attention," he smirks. El Hornio appreciates the sight of the warm meat sliding smoothly into place, making it very difficult for me not to speculate on his future career. "This is hilarious," he says, to FCC-baiting close-ups of hot hand-on-wiener action. Rebecca's in too much of a hurry to see the humor.

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Amazing Race

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