Amazing Race
Quit Following Us

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Hysterical Landmarks

El Hornio asks for a sausage press for his home. But can he operate it and properly enjoy it at the same time? Lori and Bolo get approval on their second set of links, and they're on their way, firmly in sixth place. Out on the street, a guy offers to walk them to the train station. Okay, maybe they're not that firmly in sixth. In the Citadel, El Hornio comments, "I'm surprised Jonathan isn't here because he's the biggest wiener of them all." Eh. Weak. Rebecca -- who really hasn't had time for El Hornio's freshmanic "humor" up to this point -- finally comes around as the last link takes shape: "The last one's girthy and lengthy." And indeed, they get their clue along with the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to act like dirty-minded fifth-graders on network television. They get in a cab before Lori and Bolo have even boarded their train.

Don and MJ reach the sausage factory and get right to work. In an interview, MJ says, "We're going 'seven inches, seven inches,' and I go, 'My God, seven inches is really big!'" She laughs appealingly as Don grins. Nice to see you're never too old to act like a dirty-minded fifth-grader on network television. There's very little footage of them making sausage (get it? Footage? Because -- oh, never mind) and they seem to be on their way quickly. "Let somebody be lost," MJ prays in their cab.

Cut to Lori and Bolo on the train, where they ask a fellow passenger for directions and receive the marvelous news that their destination isn't on the line they're currently riding. Whoops. They try to get off at the current stop, but the doors won't open and the train leaves for the next terminal. "I give up," Lori moans. "We're eliminated." Win many title belts with that attitude?

Back from commercial, Lori and Bolo are absorbed in bitter recriminations. Although we've seen much worse from them. Bolo finds a guy on the train who can not only give them directions to the right train, but will walk with them. The guy has an American accent, which makes me wonder if he's the most trustworthy source. But on the other hand, Trash and I were walking around lost our first morning in Athens, and we saw this guy sitting alone on a park bench, and we shyly asked him if he spoke English, and he drawled out "Yes, I do!" in an accent more American than ours, if such a thing is possible. That kind of thing can be surprisingly reassuring in a foreign country. Lori would rather complain about why they didn't take a cab in the first place than be reassured, and Bolo claims they couldn't afford it. It looks like they're back on the right track as Bolo observes that they haven't gotten to the Roadblock yet.

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Amazing Race

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