Amazing Race
Quit Following Us

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Hysterical Landmarks

As the single Amazing Yellow Line cruises up to Berlin via Paris, Phil explains that they'll have to get themselves to the East Side Gallery of the Berlin Wall. The clue box is somewhere along the half-mile stretch of the Wall. I always imagined the Wall being taller than that, although I guess it's plenty tall. It's not like anyone could have just vaulted over it back then, especially with all the razor wire and searchlights and guns and stuff.

Everyone dashes for cabs at the Berlin airport. Team Nuance is first. "It's a big difference from ghetto third world," Kendra observes. If Freddy really liked her, he'd get her to stop talking when cameras are running. Kris and Jon are in second. Kris sticks her head out the window as far as she can, begging the cabbie to drive closer to oncoming traffic so that her miserable existence might finally come to an end. Hornio tries to figure out how to tell their driver, in German, to go fast, but all they can come up with is "Fahrvergnügen." Thanks for making me look that up, bitches. In the fourth-place taxi, Jonathan rhapsodizes, "Beautiful city." And then he ruins it by saying reverently, "You gotta have an appreciation for the people that make Mercedes." Hayden wishes her driver guten morgen. In sixth place, Gus observes again that "the game is afoot," while Hera looks determined. Don and MJ are still wandering around the damn terminal looking for the taxi stand while Lori and Bolo are already there, securing their seventh-place spot. Do Don and MJ ask for the back row on planes or something? They find a cabbie who's ready and willing to get them to the train station. He explains on the way that they'll want to take the train called the "S-bahn." Nuance arrives at the train station, where a ticket agent also directs them to the S-bahn. Kris and Jon, naturally, once again trust the advice of a random stranger and find themselves heading underground to the "U-bahn." The "U," of course, stands for "Uh-oh." Once down there, they spot Jonathan and Victoria, who are being directed back up to the S-bahn by another stranger. Jon says, "No, we need the U-bahn." Uh-oh. See how easy that is to remember?

Hornio latches on behind Jonathan and Victoria. Jonathan spots them right below him on the escalator and asks, "You guys following us?" When they don't answer, he shakes his head in exasperation and stomps up the escalator away from them. "Jonathan, you're just so smart that we want to do everything you do!" Rebecca calls. Heh. Cut to a few moments later, when Jonathan is yelling at Hornio. The episode title proper is not actually uttered, but it's the gist of Jonathan's message. Victoria tries to back him up, and he thanks her for her support by interrupting his tirade, whirling on her, snapping, "No, no!" and shooing her away. Prick. I bet he's stingy with the Snausages, too. Both teams appear to get on the same train anyway, along with Nuance.

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Amazing Race




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