Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 692 USERS: B-
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End of the line

Guido, getting the snowshoe instructions at the beginning of the final leg. As they strap on their snowshoes, here comes one of the silliest moments of the entire Guido history, and you know that's saying a lot. "I have likened myself to Bill Clinton's presidency," Joe begins. Wow, you can totally write your own joke here, because it's almost too easy. Just to prove it, here are five: (1) "Yeah, disastrous and marked by bad haircuts." (2) "Yeah, successful only on the domestic front." (3) "Yeah, eight years without a single moment of humility." (4) "Yeah, because the hubris of a guy named Bill will be the end of both of you." (5) "Yeah, popular with a proportion of the population that shrinks daily." Thank you, and good night! Drive safely! Anyway, what Joe has in mind is that Bill Clinton's presidency had to be saved from the scrap heap repeatedly. Joe goes on to say that just as Bill Clinton calls himself "The Comeback Kid," Team Guido will be Comeback Kids, and then they'll get to meet Bill Clinton. I do believe Joe is experiencing a lack of oxygen, although Clinton might meet him if he's willing to put on a black beret and flash his thong undies, I suppose. ["I think I speak for most fans of the show when I say that I would pay good money to see that happen." -- Sars] But he still thinks they can win. "I think we can probably pull it off," he says. Remember that Esquire and Danza are on a flight to New York right now, so unless they're diverted to Miami for some reason, Guido, we can pretty much stick a fork in you, because you? Are done.

Seattle-Newark EDG flight. Guess what Rob's doing? Chewing his pen. Brennan voices over that this flight was "surreal." He goes on to say, "There's no way we're going to be able to take Frank and Margarita in their home borough of Queens, knowing that's where we need to go." Cut to the LPFrank interview in which he says, "If I can make an observation? They're scared." He grins. "They're very scared. I can see it in their eyes." Rob looks scared only in the sense that he's reading, which means that I must look scared a lot.

The Amazing Yellow Line makes its way from Seattle to New York. On the plane, as they wait to disembark, Rob discusses the fact that they're thirty days and thirty thousand miles into this race, and here they are, right bunched up with Danza. This is voiced over the worst, most awkward camera shot of the race so far. The camera is sort of in Rob's jaw, and while that sounds like it would be a good thing, it in fact looks freaky, especially when we get a glimpse of LPFrank making a googly face over Rob's shoulder. It feels like an amateur porn video, like that one from Rob Lowe's adventures in Atlanta way back when. LPFrank is delirious with confidence.

Amazing Race

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