Amazing Race
Race To The Finish, Part II

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End of the line

Esquire asks if they can get on the plane at the beginning with the special boarding. Why they want to do that, I have no idea, but they've been right so far, so...whatever you say, boys.

Margarita talks about how much she wants to "whip their asses." She says, "I want to see that look -- 'What happened?'" Nice. I don't know, Margarita, the gloating isn't necessarily going to stand you in good stead with the gods of fate, and I think perhaps you're spending a little too much thinking about the boys losing rather than about how you're going to get there ahead of them...but hey, what do I know? Everybody boards the plane. "I feel like they haven't been as good, um, sports as we have," Margarita voices over, almost choking on the preposterousness of her own statement.

As the boys pass a wheelchair in the jetway, Brennan asks Rob casually whether it's his. They crack up. Rob: "I'm probably gonna need it in a couple days." On the plane, he goes on to say that after thirteen legs, they're pretty beat, and ready to be done. He says they want to win, but he acknowledges that they're at a disadvantage, and they're "the underdogs" going into New York. Margarita says she didn't come here to lose, and they "have to win this." The flight takes off for New York.

Commercials. Ewwwww! Girls who like sports. That is so gross. Get UltimateTV so that your wife can watch decorating shows and learn decoupage instead of watching what you're watching. After all, if she likes football, your sperm will lose motility.

Guido, getting the snowshoe instructions at the beginning of the final leg. As they strap on their snowshoes, here comes one of the silliest moments of the entire Guido history, and you know that's saying a lot. "I have likened myself to Bill Clinton's presidency," Joe begins. Wow, you can totally write your own joke here, because it's almost too easy. Just to prove it, here are five: (1) "Yeah, disastrous and marked by bad haircuts." (2) "Yeah, successful only on the domestic front." (3) "Yeah, eight years without a single moment of humility." (4) "Yeah, because the hubris of a guy named Bill will be the end of both of you." (5) "Yeah, popular with a proportion of the population that shrinks daily." Thank you, and good night! Drive safely! Anyway, what Joe has in mind is that Bill Clinton's presidency had to be saved from the scrap heap repeatedly. Joe goes on to say that just as Bill Clinton calls himself "The Comeback Kid," Team Guido will be Comeback Kids, and then they'll get to meet Bill Clinton. I do believe Joe is experiencing a lack of oxygen, although Clinton might meet him if he's willing to put on a black beret and flash his thong undies, I suppose. ["I think I speak for most fans of the show when I say that I would pay good money to see that happen." -- Sars] But he still thinks they can win. "I think we can probably pull it off," he says. Remember that Esquire and Danza are on a flight to New York right now, so unless they're diverted to Miami for some reason, Guido, we can pretty much stick a fork in you, because you? Are done.

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Amazing Race

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