Amazing Race
Race To The Finish, Part II

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End of the line

In the Esquire SUV, Rob works on booking flights to New York. He's now grabbed the pen that you will notice takes the place of the usual gum-chewing. Once he's lined up the flights, we get The Great Esquire Crisis Of Conscience. Having reserved the seats, Rob realizes that he could use the phone to call back and reserve additional seats, and he seems to have reason to think this would result in Danza being told there was no space when they showed up. Rob looks grim as he explains this to his partner. As they chew over it, Rob says, "I don't want to do that, dude. That's..." Close-up cheek shot. This is shot really oddly, like it's a Hitchcockian moment of Heroic Struggle With One's Inner Demons. Seriously, van Munster, it's only a cell phone. "It's dirty play," Rob says finally. "It's cheap play. I don't want to do that." Brennan: "This is the last leg." Rob: "I know it is. I know you feel the same way I do, you want to win, but you want to play hard and fair, too, and not pull underhanded crap." He repeats one more time, "I don't want to do that." Brennan: "They'd do it." Rob: "I know they'd do it."

Cut to LPFrank, benefiting as we speak from the Esquire lack of underhandedness while taking a break from his own, you know, scheming against them. He takes this opportunity to comment that he'd love to get on the same flight as the boys just so that they can see that the "underhanded cute stuff that they always try to do" didn't work. Uh huh. Obviously, they don't show you everything on a show like this, but I would defy you to name much in the way of "underhanded cute stuff" Esquire has done on this entire trip. It's been the robot brain foiling you lately, LPFrank, so get over it. He goes on to say, "I never really dug those guys anyway, you know, I never really dug them at all, so...I'd really love to beat them." Well, Negative Energy Frank, we'll see.

Phil explains that while Rob and Brennan race to the airport, Team Guido is back heading for the ice climb. When they get there, Bill agrees to take it on. Cut to Bill, ice-climbing. Bill voices over that they're going "balls to the wall." God, that's going to give me nightmares. I'm going to wake up screaming, and I won't be able to get back to sleep for a week. Bill also opines that they're going to "zoom right past 'em and not even look back." Well, Guido, you'd better hurry up, because now you are seriously behind. With the ice climb over, the Guidos get back in their SUV and head for the marker where they are to pick up the snowmobile. No, not the snowmobile Danza and Esquire had the shot at this morning -- the snowmobile that dragged them, remember? The snowmobile from last time? Heeeeee hee hee! "I hate snowmobiles," Joe moans as they're strapped in. While they zoom down the trail, he says, "There's got to be some damn shack up here, and we're gonna sleep in our sleeping bags and freeze our asses off all night long." Heh. I think Joe is beginning to figure out that they're totally hosed. He goes on to say, "Who knows? Maybe Frank and Margarita and Rob and Brennan fell off their Skidoos and they froze in the snow and we're in first place." Snerk. They pull into the pit stop with the charming fur-lined greeters from the end of last week's show, and are told they're the third team to arrive. So much for the "fell off their Skidoos" theory. In case you've forgotten, the print on the screen reminds you that they are a full twenty-four hours behind. Ha! They voice over that they're still convinced they can catch up. "That can happen very easily if you're caught up at an airport," Joe says. Yep. If you're caught up for an airport for a very, very long time, anyway. Joe had better hope for a very large blizzard that somehow allows him to move while keeping Esquire and Danza at the airport, because otherwise...well, I'm not saying it yet.

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Amazing Race

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