Amazing Race
Ready To Lose Our Lives

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Contestants do get woolly, 'cause of all the stress

Road To Sheepland. Chris and Alex, still looking. Oswald, asking directions. Chris and Alex, finding the sign at last. "It says 'Invernary Sheep Station,'" Alex says eagerly. They also see the "route mah-kah" as a few horns blat in the background in anticipation of their arrival. They open the clue (holding it right in front of Chris's "I Plucked The Hottest Chicken At The Rambler's Roost" shirt), and Chris takes the Roadblock.

In the Cha-Cha-Cha cab, Oswald is repeating the directions to Danny, and when he gets to the part where what they're looking for is "nine kilometers" away, Danny reaches down on the dash and resets the trip meter -- which makes me laugh, because that's exactly what I do when I'm trying to follow directions like that. I'm a total trip meter geek.

Chris, sheep-herding, in what is arguably one of the two or three funniest sequences this show has ever produced. He sort of tries to body-block them, and then he starts taunting the sheep. "Come on, black sheep! Black sheep!" He says this just exactly like he's challenging a guy to a fight in a bar. At one point, he almost tackles one of the black sheep against the side of the corral, but it evades him by almost climbing up the side. Who knew sheep were this tricky? "Dude, they're crazy," he tells Alex. When his next attempt to shoo the black sheep fails, he declares that he's "gonna start tackling" them. Hee.

Danny and Oswald find the sheep station sign. Thank goodness.

Back to Chris's Adventures With Barnyard Animals, complete with twangy hillbilly music in the background. He, too, happens on the strategy of getting extra sheep into the pen and then getting rid of the excess, as it were. He gets most of the sheep in, and then there's one black sheep left. When he tries to grab it, it squeezes by him at the last minute, leading to much frustration on Boston's part. "You know how much time we're wastin'?" Alex asks, apparently indifferent to whether Chris walks over and pounds him into the ground like a tent stake. In an interview, Chris wryly explains that he told Alex to shut up, because "he was makin' the sheep nervous." He says this with a highly amusing and, I am forced to admit, killer-comic-timing style head waggle that I cannot help appreciating. He finally gets all the black sheep in there, along with a white sheep he must now endeavor to remove. He goes over to the four sheep standing in a wad against the side of the pen, and he -- get this -- taps the white sheep on the shoulder. As was pointed out on the forums, this probably is one of his patented bouncer moves. I bet that's right. This is something he has probably done a million times, right? "You! Out!" Anyway, he taps the sheep, and the sheep ignores him, so he prods it a little, which makes it run out into the middle of the pen, where Chris unsuccessfully tries to push it out through the gate. "Come on, white sheep!" he yells, but to no avail. In his interview, he explains the problem. "One very stubborn white sheep got in there; I didn't like him too much."

Chris goes back to instructing the sheep to leave. "He can't hear you, Chris," Alex says with exasperation. "Dude, white sheep is listening," Chris insists. Ha! Back in the interview, Chris explains his technique: "I was tryin' to be like the Sheep Whisperer. You know, like the Horse Whisperer, but the Sheep Whisperer?" Cut to Chris's Hottie Shot of the race thus far, in which he is breathlessly attempting to move a sheep. I cannot explain it, and it is not my fault it's a hottie shot. Frustrated, he pulls the clue out of his back pocket, reads it, and leaves the perfect beat before saying, "Can't tackle 'em." Oh, my goodness. I will not explain all of the difficulties I encountered during that scene, but I will only tell you that I deeply apologize for being, at times, such an unbelievable cliché. All I can say in my own defense is that he's always had the big arms, and he didn't really begin to be a problem for me until he got funny. So, see, I am all about personality! What a relief.

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Amazing Race

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