Amazing Race
Ready To Lose Our Lives

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Contestants do get woolly, 'cause of all the stress

At any rate, Boston selects an SUV and climbs in. Alex sits in the back and becomes the navigator, all the while anxiously chewing his gum. When Boston finds the trucks, Chris refers to them as "pretty ladies all in a row." Ugh. Chris needs to stop watching quite so many gangster movies, or else he needs to internalize them a little less. They locate their driver, who starts to help them load their SUV onto the truck. They quickly get on their way, in a big trailer that says "REFRIGERATED EXPRESS." They take this opportunity to relax, but I'm not going to make a "chilling out" joke, even though you know I could. I would be fired, but I could do it. As they rest during the ride, Chris mentions that he and Alex left at 3:35, and the next team to leave will be Paige and Blake at 5:01.

5:01 AM. Paige and Blake. Paige has this week combined her Teeny Tiny Ponytail Horns Of Fashion Tragedy with a Batman t-shirt, all of which makes her look a little like some kind of crime-fighting toddler -- Super Rugrat, you might say. As they head out, Blake voices over about how confident he and Paige are feeling (I would think so, having tripped over more luck in the last several episodes than this show has ever seen). "If we make absolute perfect decisions and move quickly, then no one can catch us," he says. Blake: Professor of Tautology. They climb into their SUV.

5:06 AM. Wil and Tara. They count their money and head out. The Weasel voices over that he and Tara are both stubborn, and "it seems like the world's not big enough for both of [them]." I can't swear that this is the issue, but it seems to me that there would actually be a lot more room in the world if Wil would do something about his hair, for God's sake. With all the tufts extending in random directions, it is more of a piece of engineering ingenuity than ever, which is really saying something, considering that this hair has, in previous weeks, been written up in Architectural Digest. He hopes their relationship will improve to the point where they can "work together." I hope they both burst into flames.

5:09 AM. Danny and Oswald. Oswald explains as they walk to their car that he and Danny don't really have the "edgy competitiveness" of the other teams. He says he doesn't want to "crush anyone" or "hurt anyone." He thinks they have a shot at winning, so don't count him out. I certainly hope he's right.

Teeth car. Blake anxiously discusses the four-minute lead they're trying to hold onto. "Right, Paige?" "That's right," she says mechanically. Wow, that was creepy. Not like dirty-creepy, just creepy. There's something about the way they talk to each other that just strikes me as completely unnatural. It's impossible for me to imagine what they're like when they're not on television, but I can't imagine they're like this. It's just weird.

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Amazing Race

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