Money for nothing, and your wedding for free
And now, of course, it's time for Rob to show off the house. On video, he tells her that they haven't had their own home, but now they will. And he explains how his brother and her brother and Rob's friends all pitched in to fix up the house. He tours her around the place, and now she's crying, too. He shows her the canopy bed, explaining how this apparently all came up while they were in Botswana, probably during the race. She loved the bed that had curtains around the canopy, and now they have one. AW! Hee. He definitely hit a home run with the house. "I love you; I can't wait to marry you," he says. AW! Okay, I'll stop. It's gross! I know. I feel bad, believe me. They hug. EEEEEW! She explains in an interview that it was "an amazing idea," and he went so far to make her happy. She declares their evening "perfect," and reminds herself that tomorrow is their big day.
More commercials, and then it's the wedding day, and it looks like a day of much good weather. CC is having everything set up, and it turns out that a "simple beach wedding" is more complicated than you'd think. And Rob needs to give Amber her earrings, too, and presumably he isn't supposed to see her, so he sends the earrings off with Mike. "Don't lose them," he says. For her part, Amber is wrapping up the other gift she got Rob, which is a necklace she filled with sand from Panama and sand from the Bahamas -- the places they fell in love and are getting married. (Trash had a great time recasting this sequence as, "I got you a house and some diamonds." "Awesome. I got you a painting and a necklace made from dirt.") She has also included a poem in the box with the necklace -- a move she will soon regret. Nicole gives Rob the gift, announcing that Amber would love it if he'd wear the necklace. And Cheryl, Amber's mom, tells Rob that the poem that's included is one that she gave her husband when they got married. Rob takes out the poem and reads it out loud, and he does really well until he gets to this: "So that I never leave your breast." Because at this point, of course, he has to look up, grin sheepishly, and look back down. Because he said "breast." He tries not to get giggly, but he can't help it, because he is, as I've said, the Thattiest Guy of all time.