Money for nothing, and your wedding for free
Now, we watch as Amber and her sister Nicole set out on their quest to get a surprise for Rob. They are visiting the studio of one Giovanni de Cunto, whose work it turns out Rob once admired in a bar. And it turns out that Giovanni has done a painting of the Red Sox. So, of course, Amber had to have it. She also says she has another idea regarding the painting, which won't be easy, but will be great if it works. Suspense!
In New York, it's raining, and Rob explains that he's there to meet "CC" (hee) and go shopping for clothes. CC gets Rob out of his cab, and the two of them head out. CC tries to show Rob some jackets, but Rob explains that Amber doesn't want jackets, and that she even put that on the invitation, so he doesn't really want a jacket for himself. Apparently, CC doesn't like this, because Rob actually gets on the phone with Amber to discuss it with her. But when they get her on the phone (she's at Giovanni's), Rob actually hands Amber over to CC, who tells her about the planned outfit, including the jacket, and gets her unqualified approval. Rob gives an interview in which he declares that he likes CC, though not in a homosexual way. "He's all right in my book," Rob says, which is a pretty big endorsement coming from him.
Elsewhere, Amber and Nicole take the painting out and strap it to their car to head off to Red Sox spring training, hoping to get the Red Sox to sign it. Because you know what you should do with an expensive and unique piece of art? Have people write on it. Awesome! Now, it will be a painting in oils and Sharpie. ["Well, it's a baseball painting. It's one step up from 'Dogs Playing Poker' as it is. Given the choice, I'd want my velvet Johnny Damon signed." -- Sars] They take it off to be shipped, and the guy is a little flummoxed when Amber says she wants it there tomorrow. But he takes it nonetheless.
When we get back from commercials, the shipping guy is telling Amber that it should be there by 10:30 tomorrow morning, so that appears set. Meanwhile, Rob is out in L.A. with his brother Mike, explaining that before they can go to Florida to furnish the house, they need to go to this store and pick out the stuff for the house, because it's a store Amber loves. The stuff will then be shipped to Florida so that Rob's buddies can set up the house. Mike looks less than thrilled, but he's going along. When they get to the store, they head inside. Rob's first goal is to pick out the bed. It wouldn't be his choice, but he knows that Amber wants a canopy bed, so he's going for that. Aw. Mike takes an interest in a bearskin rug complete with attached head, but Rob comments that Amber would kill him. And...probably. He sits at a big coffee table and says that it seems like it would be a good place to "watch the game, or...maybe a romantic cawmedy." Rob clearly hates romantic comedies, which is what makes that wonderful. We watch him tear around picking out this and that, and then he heads over to a green...vase? Pot? I don't know. He says he doesn't know what it is (ha!), but "it definitely looks like something that somebody knew who was decorating would get." The saleslady laughs. He then claims an entire dining room, complete with rug, and you can kind of tell it's a big relief to him when he can swoop in and take a bunch of stuff at once like that. It's kind of like getting all your clothes from Garanimals. "Do you need a buffet table for the dining room?" the saleslady asks. Rob looks at Mike. "You know what a buffet table is?" he asks. Mike does not. I think it's one of those things where if you don't know you need one, you probably don't. Rob then manages to find some candles labeled "Amber," so he takes three dozen. It's good, because he needed something to goose his confidence. More typically, he picks up a large wooden basket with random round doodads in it, and he says earnestly, "I'd like to get this basket...full of balls." He keeps from cracking up, but just barely. He still is himself, in the end. He goes for one thing that the saleslady declares "too bachelor pad." He tells us that he really had no idea what he was doing, but spent about $40,000 or $50,000 on stuff for the house.