Amazing Race
Rob And Amber Get Married

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Money for nothing, and your wedding for free

Rob's vows start off by telling Amber that he's never met anyone who made him feel so special. "You make me smile, you make me laugh, you make me feel important and smaht, sometimes you make me crazy, then you make things all right again." That's pretty cute, there, you know. He says she's taught him patience and compromise, blah dee bling, and this is always the part where I get bored with TV vows, even when they're real. He loves her, and he promises to be true. "To always treat you with respect, to always be your friend, to always put you above everything else, and to always love you with all my haht, forever and ever." And then he looks at her and smiles and adds, very proud of himself, "And ever." Clearly, this is some inside joke they have, since she did the same thing when she read the card. I suspect that "forever and ever...and ever" is some kind of a reference, and I kind of think it's cute they didn't explain it. They deserve to keep something, after all. Amber laughs. And then Rob grins even more, looks out at the chuckling audience, and says, "The End." Even cuter. Aw! I know, I know, we're almost done.

Amber reads her vows, but they don't really have anything as amusingly self-deprecating as "and evah." She talks about how much she loves him, promises to be generally awesome, and tries to ignore how her veil is blowing around. "So be it," says their officiant. They go through the part where the family and friends promise to support them in their marriage, and nobody makes a stink or anything, so I guess it's really happening. They hold hands and look at each other as the guy talks about all the kids they're going to have, which could be potentially uncomfortable, depending, so I hope he cleared it with them. They take their rings from what looks like a little candy dish, and they do the exchange.

So now, they're married, complete with a weird reference by their officiant to that twee "dance like no one's watching" email signature thing, which gives the whole wedding a strange and uncomfortable Successories vibe. But they kiss anyway, and then it's all about BeBe Winans and the singing of "Oh Happy Day," which is pretty cool, especially in relative terms, considering what a lot of wedding music is like. It could be "A Whole New World," after all. The wedding party exits to this music.

My favorite interview comes when Amber explains that there were some small hitches in the ceremony -- like the part where she got her veil stuck on the arch. "Those are the moments that make your wedding your own," she says easily, and Rob kind of looks at the interviewer like, "Huh? Huh? How cool is she? And a smokin' ass to boot!" Rob says that he was "just, like, 'wow'" about the way Amber looked, and adds somewhat clumsily that she was "extra-beautiful" coming down the aisle. They sing a little of "Oh Happy Day," which Amber says she loved, and Rob proves he wasn't kidding about not being able to sing any more than he can dance.

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Amazing Race

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