Amazing Race

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One Day in Bangkok Makes Two Short Men Grumble

"Mark and Mickey" are just now getting out of their party taxi with their flirty transvestites. They find a cab, and before even getting in, Mark asks about the fare. Upon being told it's 300, he says he only has 200, plus some crap in his bag. Unlike the soundtrack, the cabbie loves that idea, and they have a ride to the Pit Stop.

So now it's a two-way race to the Pit Stop. Kisha philosophizes, "Some things just didn't work out, so we're headed to the Pit Stop now. We'll learn our fate and deal with things then. We're not ones to get really worked up, 'cause it's not going to change what's going to happen." She should speak for herself, because Jen looks like she wants to kill Kisha with her mind.

Mark talks about how "we rocked it" in the karaoke. Okay, I know he always needs to congratulate themselves after completing a task, but would it have been possible to do it wrong? "Hopefully somebody stumbled worse than we did," he adds. Solid strategy, to count on that in the eighth leg of this race.

"I never thought that I would have a day like this at all," Jen says. "It's unbelievable." Meanwhile, Kisha is calmly applying some Carmex and saying, "Never leave your fanny pack. You never know what's ahead." Well at least they've learned something.

Mark and Michael get dropped off, and Mark gives their cabbie the money he has plus some item of jewelry. "Very expensive, lots of money," he claims. Ignoring the ominous soundtrack, the cabbie shakes their hands and goes away happy, and then the Stuntmen are running onto the grounds and onto the mat with their packs. The Amazing Editors didn't even try to make that a suspenseful ending, and we're about to find out why. "Mark and Michael, you're the fourth team to arrive," Phil says. They hug and giggle, once again missing Phil's subtle verbal cues. Because here comes another dreaded "However." "I understand that you broke a Race rule?" They look up at him in confusion and not a little bit of what now? Even I don't know what Phil's talking about. "By using your personal possessions to settle a bill? Is that correct?" he asks. They admit it. Wow, even I didn't know that was a rule, and I clearly know more about the rules of this Race than Michael and Mark do. Phil tells them that's a two-hour penalty. Whoa, really? Seriously? Now, the Stuntmen aren't my favorite team, and I wouldn't have minded seeing them go a long time ago, but this just seems arbitrary and punitive. How is paying a bill with possessions four times worse than interfering with other teams, or missing the rule about not being led to a clue box, like they did last week? What's more, since they did it twice, Phil tells them they have a total penalty of four hours, starting right now. So go sit over there. He can't even give them a book or something? As they trudge away from the mat, they don't think much of their chances of surviving this. I'm not normally in the mood to defend the Stuntmen, but this right here? Is bullshit.

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Amazing Race

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