Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
One Day in Bangkok Makes Two Short Men Grumble

"Do you know where we're going?" Jaime asks her cab driver. Grinning, he admits he doesn't, but he's about to learn how funny that isn't to her. "I can't handle you," she says, which is actually not the worst thing she's said. He asks for five minutes. "Well, we don't have five minutes because you took 20 minutes driving through the water-filled streets." Okay, if we stipulate that her language barrier issues are legitimate, what's her excuse for acting like this to people who can speak English?

Mark and Michael hail a hot-pink cab. Instead of getting in, Michael hands the driver a phone number to have their original driver come and meet them there. Mark wants the driver to meet them in Chinatown instead so they can get to the Detour while they're waiting, which seems reasonable to me. But Michael is refusing for some reason, and Mark is getting irritated about having to wait. In an interview, Michael says he didn't want to lose his backpack, because he didn't know if they were going on. Even though the first part of the clue they were handed on the boat said "Journey on." "And I have a few things that I've brought along that are mementoes that are not replaceable." Maybe he shouldn't have made the call to leave them behind, then. Mark doesn't think they need their backpack for the task, so they're at an impasse.

Jen and Kisha reach the party taxi parking lot first, and tell their cab driver to follow them. They're in one of the vehicles by the time the cheerleaders arrive and tell their driver to beat the sisters'. Both teams head out, singing like loons. Victor and Tammy arrive next. "Oh, my Gosh, it's Mai Tai Trannies," Tammy says, like that's a thing now. They all pile into their taxi and start singing.

Margie gets a match, and the soundtrack dings as a chyron reading "1 of 5" appears on the screen next to some kind of icon of a freaky, toothy cartoon grimace. Luke is not getting anywhere with his patient, and is trying to put someone's lower in someone else's upper by the time Margie gets her second match. He may not be a good singer, but he's not a great dentist, either.

Mark and Michael seem to have negotiated a taxi to get them back to their bags, and Mark is not happy. "I know he's worried about his bags," Mark says passive-aggressively to the window. "It's not about bags, I'd rather give up those bags and finish this leg. You'd rather be eliminated and take your clothes home... you don't want the million dollars, you just want to play." Oh, Mark. It doesn't matter what you do right now, you're never going to win the million dollars anyway. That has been clear for some time. You know, when they came on the race, they clearly had something to prove, which was that despite being less than 5 feet tall, they could be as strong and as fast as anybody else. But there's more to this Race than being strong and fast, as demonstrated by the Race's rich history of strong and fast teams who never made it to the Finish Line because they just weren't all that bright.

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Amazing Race




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