Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Si-bare-ia

The Flight Attendants finally find a cab, and engage the driver to lead them to the library. Jodi says you'd be in trouble in this town if you didn't know how to drive stick, with all the starting and stopping. Here's an example: at the same time, Jen is having trouble with some stopping at a critical moment, and gets honked at by someone who's jumping into her lane. "Well, I'm sorry I never drove in Novosibirsk," she tells the other car. I think the other car probably figured that out. She interviews about the chaotic traffic conditions. Which are made even more chaotic when she kills the car in the middle of an intersection and can't get it going again. "Something's actually wrong with it," she says. Oh, and now we're going into a commercial break, so you know that by the time we come back...

...She's gotten it going again. "It's all good in the hood," she says.

Mel and Michael are waiting for their respective partners outside the theater, and speculate on what hypothermia feels like. You know, just idly. Not that it has anything to do with anything. Mike's running along, and a woman does a double-take that causes her boot heel to slip on the ice, which in turn gives the Amazing Editors an excuse to insert a record-scratch on the soundtrack. I'm convinced that the vinyl renaissance is entirely the work of TV sound editors who never want the world to forget what a record-scratch sounds like. In an interview, Mark boasts about how well he ran. "These two Russian marathon runners, they were surprised that this little guy could really fly like that. They had a pretty good time keeping up with me." But Mike comes into view first, and Mel greets him with a loud cry of "Michael! You poor, frozen little son of a gun!" The Whites head into the theater. Michael is left outside, waiting with more runners, who ask him if he's waiting for a man or a woman. "Man?" "Yes," Michael responds in an involuntary Russian accent. "Like me," he adds, indicating his height. The runners laugh. And here comes Mark, and the Stuntmen run straight for the door. The Whites, meanwhile, are still climbing the steps to the balcony as Mel pants, "Somebody's behind us. Let's not let them beat us." It looks like it's shaping up to be a footrace up the steps, but it's the Whites who enter the auditorium first, and check in fourth. "We'll take it," Mel says, and they hug exhaustedly.

When the Stuntmen enter the auditorium, the Whites are already gone, so they couldn't have been that close behind. Mark enters through the door that leads onto the next aisle down from Phil, and starts walking straight down without bothering to look around. Michael follows him, while Phil tries to get their attention by raising a hand, hissing, "Psst!" and even snapping his fingers. He shakes his head in disbelief that they can get lost in a theater auditorium, but finally Mark spots him and calls, "Mike, look who's here!" Yes, fancy meeting Phil there. They finally make it to the mat and Mark says, "That was fun!" Does he mean the underwear marathon, or the orienteering through Section E? Phil gives them his best "you morons" smile and tells them they're team number five.

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Amazing Race

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