Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 1 USERS: A
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The Flight Attendants reach the Detour clue box, and agree that the Russian Bride task sounds easier. Meanwhile, the Stuntmen are still on their way to the clue box, talking about how much they'd hate to drive in this city. It's like their specialty stunt is jinxing themselves. They arrive just as the Flight Attendants are leaving. Mark has to struggle a bit to adapt the already small car to his proportions. They're still working on that when Kisha and Jen get to the lot and see only two cars left. In fact, there's an extra car there, so they are in last place. Jen's still driving, while Kisha coaches her from the back on how to work the clutch. Why is the one who knows how to drive stick sitting in back? It can't be because her navigational skills are so invaluable. Finally, Jen gets the car going, laying a patch as she goes from a stop. "I'm staying in first gear," she announces. Well, as long as she has a plan.

Mel and Mike have arrived at the apartment building, which is ten stories tall and several blocks long. It's quite imposing, and depressing as hell. I guess that's how we know it's from the Soviet era. Mike directs them to building 4, which they enter. "Dad, we're gonna find this woman!" Mike says excitedly. They climb the stairs to a landing where a bunch of bouquets are waiting on a table. They snag one and start knocking on doors in a way that suggests to me that this building is either vacant or condemned, and understandably so. Eventually, at 538, the door swings open to reveal a lovely young Russian woman in a white gown and shawl. Mike invites her to join them and hands over her flowers, and they lead her down the stairs and to the car. "You look very pretty," Mike geeks. As they get moving again, with Mike behind the wheel now, Mel also comments on how beautiful she is. "Wouldn't you rather have her than a snowplow?" Mike asks. We couldn't have her in a snowplow?

Victor and Tammy have run into a karmic traffic jam, which doesn't help much with his driving. Cara and Jaime actually come up next to them in the adjoining lane, and they Nelson out a "HAH-ha," that Team Family Law probably can't hear anyway. Margie also spots them and signs to the cheerleaders, "V, T, there" while saying, "Victor and Tammy are right up there." Team Go Team parks at the stadium first, followed by Team Family Law, and finally Luke and Margie. Then it's a footrace to the snowplows. The cheerleaders get there first, but they're having trouble with the part of the clue that says "Choose a snowplow." Apparently it's more difficult than it seems. They wander around, trying to get someone to help them out, but they seem to be approaching the wrong people, because nobody's helping them. All they're getting are blank stares and confused shrugs. Luke and Margie are also getting frustrated, as he emphatically signs, "Read!" and Margie yells, "I did read it!" She's going to have to yell louder than that for him to hear her. Meanwhile, the siblings have found where they need to be, and Victor climbs up into the cab of one of the snowplows. Tammy narrates from the clue that each team member has to "drive one length in the same lane, and after driving one length must turn the snowplow around." Now, this "course" isn't all that challenging; it consists of four short but wide lanes, with a few mild kinks, and there's a lot of leeway on both sides of the nightmare machine. It's not like they have to thread it through a parking ramp. Victor gets his snowplow started, while Tammy wanders around outside on the course with a signal reflector, wondering what she's supposed to do with it. As he gets going, she laughs that she's never driven anything bigger than a Mercedes-Benz. "This will be amusing." And thanks for telling us what kind of car you drive, by the way. Victor's loving his turn behind the wheel, possibly because he also has to share the cramped cab with a big old Russian who's guiding him along. Meanwhile, on another part of the grounds, the cheerleaders are getting screamily frustrated, and they run over to where Tammy is watching Victor. "Are they saying yes?" "Yeah, get in there," Tammy calls back. Good thing Victor couldn't hear her. He'd probably leave her behind. And Luke knocks on the door of the random snowplow truck that Margie's sitting in by herself, signaling that they should follow the cheerleaders. Margie gets out so they can run over there, which is a little disappointing. I was hoping she'd try to finish the leg driving that truck around the whole time.

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Amazing Race

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