Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Si-bare-ia

Tammy and Victor finish up with the snowplows in first place, and get their next clue, which tells them, "Drive to Gosu-Tarsvenyana Notchnaya Tehnicheskaya Bibliotekah!" They laugh at the lengthy, gratuitous Russianness of it all. Phil tells us that they're now driving to the largest library in Siberia. It does look big, all right. It has to be, to fit that name on the front. I bet that library even has copies of plays by Russian playwrights who aren't Chekhov. As they get in their car, Tammy says that it sounds like they're going to a library. Indeed, even at the end of that torrent of glottals, fricatives, and plosives, the word "bibliotekah" is a bit of a giveaway.

Cara and Luke finish up. The cheerleaders read in unison, "Drive to..." But both teams realize they're going to a library. As they get on the road, the cheerleader who's driving says she doesn't know how to wash the windshield. "Drive with your head out the window," says the other one. And then lick the glass.

Meanwhile, the Stuntmen reach the snowplows and get going. Mark goes first. He's having trouble seeing his signalman, Michael, possibly because they're both under five feet tall.

The Whites are searching for the church. Mel tucks a flower behind his ear and asks the bride, "You like?" They find a church, and hope it's the right one. Fortunately it is, and they soon find the grooms waiting. Again, there are eight of them, which means there's an extra. I'm almost wondering if this was supposed to be the first Siberian leg, or if last week was supposed to be non-elimination. Last week would have been a better week than this week, as far as the results go. Anyway, one of the grooms steps forward to embrace the Whites' bride, and one photo later, they have their clue sending them to the bibliotekah. Do svedanya!

Jodi and Christie find someone to lead them to the church. "He's like our lifeline," Jodi says as she follows him. Keep that in mind for later. Specifically, think of an old-timey diver, whose literal lifeline is an air hose attaching him to the ship as he walks along the edge of an underwater ravine. That image will come in handy shortly.

Michael is taking his turn at the plow controls, and Mark is yelling at him to slow down, to no avail. Who tells a stuntman to slow down, anyway? Even if it is another stuntman, who is also the first stuntman's brother? Despite ignoring (or perhaps due to ignoring) Mark's warnings, Michael finishes the course quickly and without incident, and they're off in fifth place. "Wow, that's a mouthful," Mark says as he reads the clue. Back to their car, where they congratulate themselves on how well they did. Even though they were the last to finish the snowplow task. I hope when the DVD of this season comes out, it also includes the version of the Race that's happening in their heads.

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Amazing Race

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