Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 604 USERS: C+
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The many fish of Italy

5:18 AM. Fran and Barry note their $63 stash of booty (ew, I think I just got a little queasy from using "Fran and Barry" and "booty" that close together; it's like a special and very bad Boolean search issue), and they leave. Fran tells us in a voice-over that Barry went to Vietnam when they were first married, which I'm sure is relevant to something along the line here, not that it really seems like it at this point. He joins in to say how they grew together as best friends, which is nice, although I didn't need to hear him use the word "lover," so much. I find the use of "lover" meaning, very strictly, "person you have sex with," the way Barry is using it, to be incredibly strange and twee, actually. I know no one who does that, other than angry husbands in movies from many years ago. Fran talks about how they know where they're going and don't have to stop and ask for directions, leaving out the implied "like stupid other teams do." It's a good thing they're not headed for a motorcycle engine, because boy, would they be in trouble!

BJ and Tyler arrive in Catania and ask someone about where the theater is. When they get there, the funny music plays some more as they take note of the fact that the theater doesn't open until 8:30 AM, so they're going to have to wait a bit. Of course, this is another opportunity to create some more footage for their personal Our Kee-razy Travels highlight reel, also known as This Whole Season, so they come up with a plan to put up a sign that says, "Team Order." And see, that will fool other people into thinking they have to sign up. And other people signing up when they don't have to sign up will be hilarious. What do you mean, "Why?" It will be! They write up something on a plain piece of paper and stick it into the top of the sign that shows the operating hours. And as they walk away, Tyler says -- for no reason at all -- "pizza pie." Oh, ethnic jokes. They just never get old. I can't wait to see what these guys might be like in India! Or Japan! They go off to have a nap, which is just about what they make me want to do myself. I'm kind of surprised they don't find a way to nap hilariously, like with their feet up over their heads in a pretzel, all, "Whoop-de-whoo, here we are, just lying down, HA HA HA! Let's-a get lotsa sleep-a!"

Amazing Race

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