Teams hustle around Sicily in this very, very dull leg in which there is no bunching and there are no difficult tasks, so there is basically no opportunity for anything meaningful to happen. The show does its best to wring drama from Monica's crying about getting fish guts on her, but having people count fence posts, if you're going to have them do it, needs to be a little tougher, or it's just not compelling to watch. Dave and Lori get a little lost looking for the first task, and that winds up putting them a smidge behind Ray and Yolanda. This is the configuration in which the teams stay, throughout a boring and easy Detour followed by a boring and easy Roadblock, meaning that when Dave and Lori come in last and are Philiminated, it's much more a punishment for things that occurred in previous legs than it is anything that happened in this leg. I'm no fan of last-ten-minutes bunching that renders everything else meaningless, but they're way out of balance in the other direction now, because at this rate, they might as well just have BJ and Tyler and Eric and Jeremy flip a coin. Bo-ring.
Previously on The Stratification Follies: Eric and Jeremy and BJ and Tyler continued to dominate as the teams ran around Italy hunting through laundry and so forth. The Roadblock frustrated Lori, who apparently assumed that a completed puzzle includes all the pieces, and baffled Dave, who was just sure she was missing part of the thigh. They ultimately made it, though, leaving the battle for last place to Ray and Yolanda and Danielle and Dani. When Dani didn't get the pieces of her statue lined up just right, Ray raced right by her, and the current pinks were sadly Philiminated. In other news, I received approximately four billion emails providing me with links to nasty pictures of The Choad Family on the internet pulling each other's pants off and so forth. It's the same technology that will one day allow parts of the world to unite for the common good. It's all in how you use it.
Music from The Godfather, Part Phil plays as we return to Sicily, where the scenery is beautiful, the pace is slow, and the men are not smiling. I do find that the show is very thorough in providing a guided tour of Crusty Malcontents Of Western Europe. Phil reminds us that in the northwest corner is Segesta, which was destroyed many years ago by the Vandals, known in other corners for their expertise in TPing trees on Mischief Night. On the outskirts of the city is the crumbled but unbowed temple where the fifth (fourth) pit stop happened. It has not yet been hit by Vandals, who would undoubtedly have written "BJ And Tyler Rool," and would then turn out to actually have been BJ and Tyler themselves. With some things, you just know how it's going to be. Phil reminds us how the teams arrived at the end of the last leg. He wonders, as he seems to every week, whether Lake and Michelle can "control their bickering" and whether Ray and Yolanda can capitalize on their good working relationship (ahem) and move out of last place. Those teams do provide something of a study in contrasts, since Ray thinks Yolanda is awesome and has beautiful legs, while Lake thinks that he is awesome and that Yolanda has beautiful legs.
2:29 AM. BJ and Tyler rip their clue, which instructs them to drive to Catania, which BJ pronounces "Catalina," kicking off a week in which mispronouncing Italian place names will be the "choo-choo" of the episode. When they get there, they'll find yet another ruined amphitheater, where there will be another clue. There's, like, some kind of Phantom Of The Opera theme going on here with all the broken-down theaters and whatnot. I keep waiting for one of the tasks to be rescuing a lost soul from the catacombs. BJ and Tyler leave, rehearsing how to pronounce "Catania" and fretting over the "frat cats" that are "hot on [their] tail," which you already knew if you read Defamer (a link that is potentially not safe for work, although recaps are also potentially not safe for work, so: whatever, filtering monkeys). In their voice-over, BJ and Tyler discuss their ongoing battle with the other half of the Choad Family, explaining that they see it as more their game than Eric and Jeremy's, because of all their travel experience. Also, they speak comical Saturday Night Live sketch versions of many foreign accents. "They're definitely dumb," BJ says of Eric and Jeremy, "but people who are very dumb wind up having the best luck a lot of the time. But eventually, dumb luck runs out." They stop and pat a dog, which, because it is them, evolves into a fully staged production of Mixed-Up Wacky-Ass Dog-Patting Theater. In the car, Tyler notes that Catania is "on the exact opposite end of Sicily." They leave, and BJ mispronounces the name of the city some more.