Amazing Race
Sleep Deprivation Is Really Starting To Irritate Me

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The many fish of Italy

Eric and Jeremy find the market, and as BJ and Tyler run into it behind them, Tyler shouts, "Ehhhh, pizza pie!" It's so embarrassing, you almost have to look away. Embarrassing for Tyler, embarrassing for the locals, and embarrassing for the country in which Tyler lives, which really doesn't need unskilled help, international-PR-wise. Both teams hunt for the right vendor, and Eric and Jeremy find him first. A lot of locals stare with what certainly appears to be an utter lack of amusement as this group of assholes tries to mug for the camera in a way they apparently believe is going to be charming. What's creepy is that none of them seem to notice that nobody is laughing. It's like…when you do your act, and you're exerting yourself this hard, and not a fucking soul is laughing? You should notice. At any rate, when these teams are finished not amusing the locals, they get a clue to drive themselves more than 40 miles to Siracusa, where they can fail to amuse a new group of people entirely. Then they'll find something I'm roughly reciting phonetically as Ponte Umbertino, where there will be a clue box. There is more loud yelling as BJ and Tyler run back through the market. Tyler ultimately yells, silly accent intact, "There's something awfully fishy about this place!" It's remarkable how BJ and Tyler originally claimed that they look for the "funny and ironic" in life, since most of their material is actually very much like the punch lines from Family Circus. Can't you see Jeffy having a conversation with Grandpa in which Grandpa turns to him at some point, probably while discussing either a fish market or a large boat, and says, "There's something awfully fishy about this place!" Ho-ho! And then there would be a dotted line showing where Jeffy ran all over the fish market. The Choad Family proceeds together until they encounter MoJo, at which point BJ and Tyler make a great show of hugging all over Monica to demonstrate how bad they smell, which she indulgently notices.

Fran and Barry are arguing about getting where they're going. Finally, they reach the amphitheater, and when they read the clue about counting the heads, Barry has to say it three times: "Count the heads on the fence posts. On the fence posts. On the fence…posts." Hey, don't judge. At least they found the clue box this time.

The Choad Family makes it to their cars, checks their maps, and gets on the way as one big happy group. As they're leaving, BJ and Tyler wave to Fran and Barry, who are running in a circle counting heads. Eric and Jeremy and BJ and Tyler get on the road to Siracusa. When Fran and Barry finish counting the fencepost heads, they start to look for the groundskeeper, as the clue says they must. But rather than search the grounds as most people would, Fran leans over the railing above the grounds and yells, "HELLO?" That's not how you search for a man! That's just hollering, and although it seems like it should work, it's like it never does, believe me. Barry tells her that they're going to have to look for the groundskeeper, but Fran keeps yelling for the guy, no matter how many times Barry tells her it's obviously fruitless. Finally, they run across the groundskeeper, report the 41 heads, and get their clue for the Detour. That seemed to be a lot more difficult for them than was really necessary, I think. Once they get the Detour clue and review it, Fran expresses her strong opinion that she is not up to carrying a giant fish. She and Barry select the selling task.

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Amazing Race

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