Amazing Race
Sorry, Guys, I'm Not Happy To See You

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Ta-Pie In The Face

Ron and Christina pull up at Acrobatics Jeep, and the clue they find is a Roadblock, asking, "Who's ready to go for a tricky ride?" Ohhh, Acrobatics Jeep. Okay. Phil takes a stroll through a sort of small open-air stadium as he explains that in this Roadblock, the chosen team member will be taken up on a ride in a car where...it's hard to explain, but the driver basically drives up on a big tippy thing and then drives backwards and forwards to keep the tippy thing from dumping you off. I'm sure it's not as unsafe as it looks, but it looks...kind of like a miscalculation could result in driving off the end of it before the tippy thing had the chance to gently tip you back to the ramp. That is my best description of an apparatus ever, don't you think? Anyway, after you do that, you get in a Jeep that somebody drives underwater, so you have to hold your breath for seventeen seconds. Which really isn't that much, but anyway. "If they're still alive when it's over, they'll receive their next clue," Phil says cheerfully. Presumably, if they are dead, they will be drafted to serve as TK and Rachel's Speed Bump.

Ron takes the Roadblock, and it's really one of those "you are ballast" Roadblocks where the only thing that might be worthy of discussion is the person's reaction. Ron doesn't react very much, so what can I tell you? He's up, he's down; he looks a little ill, but not perturbed. Just waiting for it to be over.

TK and Rachel and Nick and Don are in their cabs, and Nick is talking about being "disappointed" that TK and Rachel have already made up all the time they were initially behind. In fact, he says, he wants to "shave [TK's] beard off." What is with the urges to defoliate TK this week? He's going to wind up bald and...naked of chin! Poor TK. Meanwhile, Nate and Jen's taxi driver seems to be a trifle confused.

Ron comes off the tippy thing, and it's into the water. Christina tells him not to forget to hold his breath. Yeah, don't try to breathe in the water! That will be uncomfortable! Ron emerges, and he is still alive! So he gets the clue. You will remember that these are the rules. Christina "woo"s for him, and she tells him he's awesome. They get a clue that tells them to take the same high-speed rail back to Taipei and find the GK Teahouse. Phil says that there, they will be served tea, and they will only reveal the clue by drinking the whole cup of tea. So far, this race has included tasks relating to doing yoga, drinking tea, and carrying baskets of bread to a hair salon. If it gets any more relaxed, they're going to be doing Detours where they choose between Manicure and Pedicure. They get a cab back, and Christina, looking at her train schedule, asks if they can make the 7:16 PM train back. The driver doesn't think so, but he thinks they can get the 7:36.

TK and Rachel are at Acrobatics Jeep. Rachel takes the Roadblock, and we learn that the thing is "first-come, first-served," so the other teams will wait in line if Rachel isn't finished. Nick and Don and Nate and Jen follow. Nate and Don take the Roadblock for their teams. Rachel very much enjoys the tippy-car ride, and tolerates the underwater just fine. She is also still alive! When Nate gets in the tippy ride, Jen gives us another "holy schneikies," so this really is apparently something they say. Nate seems to find the tippy car very funny. TK and Rachel, now finished with the Roadblock, encounter their Speed Bump. As Phil explains, this is their punishment for coming in last on the previous leg. He says that they have to travel one mile and participate in a ritual where they run through some sparklers. Seriously? Yoga and sparklers? These aren't Speed Bumps; these are Rest Areas. The hell? My favorite part is that Phil says that at the end, they have to be "doused with water." Not water! Not being doused! What if they don't know how to get doused with water? What if it doesn't suit their skill set? However will they catch up? How? Also, Phil's orange ruffled shirt looks like something a bad American Idol contestant would wear while singing "Copacabana," and that does not please me. When they're gone, Nick and Don can go inside the stadium thing to start the Roadblock. Rachel says in her cab that she's glad they got out in front of the other two teams in this group, because now, they can maybe do the Speed Bump without falling behind.

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Amazing Race

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