Amazing Race
Sorry, Guys, I'm Not Happy To See You

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Ta-Pie In The Face

Nate goes underwater. Jen resists the urge to hold him there. Don looks highly unamused by the tippy car. "Hope the fuckin' brakes work on this thing," he says. You betcha. Nate finishes the underwater ride, and he gets their clue, so they get the clue to head back to Taipei (I'm sorry -- "Ta-PIE") via rail and find the teahouse. Nick tries to coach Don through the breath-holding, but he holds up fine. Don used to dive for treasure with pirates in the Indian Ocean. They get the clue and leave.

Contrary to what their driver said, it appears that Ron and Chris do make the 7:16 train back to Taipei.

TK and Rachel run through some fireworks in a field. As dramatic as they try to make it by having TK compare it to "running through a war zone," it's...not that. It sort of reminds me of the welcome dinner at the Monster Beverage surfing competition I attended a year ago at this time. (Just...don't ask.) Elsewhere, Nate and Jen mention that they know Nick and Don are just behind them, and TK and Rachel are off dealing with the Speed Bump. Speaking of whom, TK and Rachel are already done with the Speed Bump and headed back to the Jeep place to pick up the next clue. In the cab, TK both makes a "going out with a bang" pun related to the fireworks and calls the experience "bitchin'." He certainly is the guy he claims to be, I think. If you took his green kerchief off, affable dork would fall out all over the place. And I mean that as a compliment.

Nate and Jen are begging to be let on the 7:36 PM train, but it appears that they have just barely missed it, because they're only being offered 8:00, so they're going to wind up on the same train with at least Nick and Don, who show up shortly behind them. The lady tells them that it's currently 7:31 PM, and tickets for the 7:36 PM are closed. Jen begs and pleads, but she's told that the system won't print tickets for the earlier one. Nick wants to run for the earlier one, too, but he gets the same bad news. The high-speed rail is a harsh mistress.

TK and Rachel, at Acrobatics Jeep, see that everyone else is gone, and they get the clue to head back to Taipei. In the cab, TK guesses that they're not more than ten or fifteen minutes behind the other teams. At the train station, Jen tells Nick and Don she's just hoping TK and Rachel don't make it.

Commercials for Mad Money (alternate title: If I Say What I'm Thinking Regarding Atie-Kay Olmes-Hay, This Recap Will Mysteriously Be Removed From The Internet). Seriously, can you still start a real movie ad with "gitchie gitchie ya ya ya ya"? Wasn't that years ago? Didn't we retire that with unironic uses of "shizzle," about three years before we retired ironic uses of "shizzle"?

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Amazing Race

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