Amazing Race
Such A Nice Pheromone Smell To You; Just Makes Me Want To Stay Close to You

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"Drive to the pit stop," my foot

Al and ClownJon are just arriving at Underwater World. They pull the clue and Al takes the sharks. "Never give up...keep movin'," ClownJon calls to him as Al runs off to get geared up. Once in the tank, Al is extremely unnerved by a very big shark swimming right in front of his face. ClownJon can't believe he's going to stand there and just wait for the shark to go by. What kind of New York driving is that? Heh. ClownJon wants him to duck under the shark limbo-style, but Al is having none of it.

Kelly and BuffJon are walking toward the pit stop, and the Chipsters are, of course, driving there. As they drive, the boys see Jon and Kelly running and are happy to go past them. Jon and Kelly are almost as happy to be passed, as Kelly calls out, "Chip and Reichen! They didn't walk!" Chip and Reichen pull into the lot and hop out of the car. They run happily up and land on the mat. Yay! Welcome, Chipsters, you are the second team to arrive! They happily hug and slap each other's backs. "However," says Phil, as they turn to him with a sudden conspicuous wilt, "you chose to drive to the pit stop, and the clue clearly states that you need to walk." They stare, dumbfounded. Phil says that they'll be penalized five minutes for the time they saved by driving, and an additional thirty minutes for the blunder. He says that they'll have to wait and see whether the other teams arrive soon enough to make the penalty big enough to knock them out. Bummer.

Kelly and Jon run toward the pit stop. They land on the mat. Phil explains that they're the third team to arrive, but due to the Chipsters' penalty (which doesn't surprise them in the slightest), they're team number two. They smooch and congratulate each other.

At the shark tank, Al retrieves the clue. Back at the pit stop, Chip explains that they don't know what the clowns' situation is, but they hope to make the finals and will just have to see what happens. The clowns read the final clue and manage to execute it correctly, running off toward the pit stop. As we see the clowns run, Reichen says, "I like Jon and Al, but our work's gotta pay off sometime, and I just hope today brings us down to the top three." I'm sorry, "our work's gotta pay off sometime"? Like you're the victims of some kind of horrible karmic injustice that's been standing in your way until now? Like there's a hand interfering in your fate here other than your own big meaty paw? Please.

ClownJon and Al run through the entrance and to the mat. They step up. Phil tells them that they're the last team to arrive, and they look down miserably. "You do need to know," he says, causing their heads to snap up, "that another team made a mistake and received a penalty," but then he goes on to explain that the penalty isn't enough to put the other team behind them. "You've both been eliminated from the race." They hug. Phil asks Al whether he's proud of his partner, and Al talks about how ClownJon rocks, and is the bomb, and everything else we've learned about him in the last ten weeks or so. "He's definitely a role model," Al says. Aw. ClownJon says that they went in with a positive attitude, and while it didn't work out, they gave it their best. "I hope I set a good example for my kids," he says, "to never give up on your dream, to push one hundred percent and believe in yourself, and you can achieve anything in life." It is a rare, rare person who can be on TV for almost three months and then pull off a speech like that without looking like a complete ninny, but BuffClownJon is definitely the exception. As they head off and meet up with the other teams at the pit stop, the clowns receive a round of applause and hugs all around. "It's just a phenomenal experience," Al says as they head off into the sunset.

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Amazing Race

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