Amazing Race
Such A Nice Pheromone Smell To You; Just Makes Me Want To Stay Close to You

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
"Drive to the pit stop," my foot

4:04 AM. Almost as if it were planned this way, we cut directly from Reichen complaining that he never gets to have any fun to ClownJon tearing the crap out of the clue on the mat, yelling, "Go, baby!" Whee! When the clowns are off the mat and make it to the curb, they luck into a driver who speaks what Al calls "perfect English," so they gratefully throw their packs in the trunk. I always expect something really unusual to fly out of their packs at any moment. Feathers, maybe, or a rubber chicken. Maybe a set of chattering teeth with feet. During the ride, ClownJon puzzles over the place names in the clue ("Hangangang..."), and they both laugh. Al explains that they both still want to have a good time on the race, even though "it's definitely do-or-die time." We get a good enough shot of the dashboard, incidentally, to verify that Tweety statues are not standard issue for Korean cab drivers. Go figure.

The Bassoon Of Uh-Oh utters a few disagreeable honks as the Chipsters try to get their non-English-speaking cabbie to go faster. Chip gestures furiously while chanting something that he claims means "please," but it doesn't seem to especially affect their driver's performance. I think if Chip wants to entice the driver, what he needs is the phrase for "We'll pay extra, and also I promise to stop doing this annoying thing with my hand that looks like the international hand signal for furious dog-paddling."

Elsewhere, in the BuffJon/Kelly cab, BuffJon practices the bit where you find yourself speaking to the cab driver in a funny accent, in the hopes that it will make everything clear. In an interview, he says, "We were speaking in English instead of Korean, so that kind of confuses him a little bit." Kelly laughs. It seems modestly noteworthy that instead of structuring that remark to lay the blame on the fact that the driver didn't speak English, BuffJon more accurately chalks it up to the fact that he and Kelly were in Korea and were unable to speak Korean. Hoping for a little international hospitality, they head into a big hotel, and at the concierge desk, a guy leans over and makes some marks on a map so that they know where they're going. When they're back outside at the curb, Kelly asks the guy who looks like the doorman whether, when they get a fresh taxi, he would be willing to help her explain to the cabbie where they need to go. During this conversation, a couple of guys are shoving each other around on the curb right near where Kelly is standing. Nervous that the drunks are going to bonk into Kelly and knock her over, BuffJon grabs her arm, which makes her jump. He explains that he's trying to keep some drunk guys from knocking her into the street, and she snips that she can move herself, thanks. Heh. You don't think they're a little tense, do you? They pile into what seems to be a new taxi, and they leave.

The clown cab has found its way to the kites first, thanks to the communicative driver. The Chipsters' driver has also basically gotten them to the right place, but he misses the turn for exactly where they need to go. Because the guy misses the turn, Chip suddenly starts pounding on the edge of the rolled-down window, ordering the guy to turn the car around immediately, and vowing, "I'm not paying you!" Take note -- the guy got them to the right place, he just missed the turn. You don't scream nastily at your cab driver for missing a single turn when you weren't able to direct him until he had just about passed it. Chip's anger here seems to me to result entirely from Chip's tension, not from the cab driver being particularly inept. I I said, they're in the right place, after all. "Hurry!" he yells at the cabbie. Dude. Chill out. You don't want to go to bad tourist hell, now do you? It's very hot, and there are no little bottles of shampoo in the rooms, either.

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Amazing Race




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