Amazing Race
TARCon 3: The Con Continues To Grow

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Who's the loud girl in the red?

Now we return to the party, where everyone is glued to the TV, because the show has started. There basically isn't room to blow your nose in the place, so the majority of the crowd is in standing-room-only mode for this two-hour TV show. Now that's dedication. A montage of shots shows everyone groaning every time Flo and Zach do anything, and yelling "YAAY!" every time they see Ken and Gerard.

During the montage, we pause during one of the harried waitress's visits to the table Alli is standing in front of. On this particular trip, she has brought a Corona to Zron, who has made the fatal mistake of standing right next to Alli. As he pays the waitress, Alli makes a truly pathetic and sad whimpering noise. "What?" he says without looking at her as the waitress continues to maneuver around the mob. "The Corona?" Yet another pathetic noise. "Sort of," she says. He manages not to roll his eyes, although I'm not sure how. "Did you want one?" he says. "Sort of," she says. He orders another one. And then -- and seriously, you will not believe this -- he hands her the one he has. Ack! He rewarded the whining! Truly sad. As if this weren't enough, she brightens as she pushes the lime into the bottle. "Hey, did you see that?" she bubbles. "Mock the whining, but look how well it worked for me! I whined, and now I have a drink!" He turns and gives her The Eyeball Of Death, particularly directing it at his arm, which she is energetically whapping with joy. "I can stop hitting," she says simply, and takes a swig off the beer. Enabler! He totally should have smacked her.

Late in the show, the racers begin to arrive. A little clump of them, including Frank and Margarita, Brennan, Hillary, and Kevin and Drew show up at about 10:45. Wow, they didn't even make it through the episode at the CBS party. Must have sucked. They are greeted with applause and camera flashes, and as racers will be for the remainder of the night, they are nearly pinned to the stairs at first, so enthused is the crush to meet them.

As the show ends, Alli worms her way through the crowd in the direction of Frank, who is leaning on the wall opposite her. "My girl!" he says as she approaches. They hug. She certainly does know how to make her way to the big arms. "Frank, there is no God," she says, gesturing toward the screen, where Flo and Zach are celebrating their victory. "I don't give a fuck," Frank says forcefully. "I'm glad a woman won." Now he looks up at Teri and Ian crossing the finish line. "And I'm glad they came in second. YEEEAH!" Alli scrunches up her face unhappily. They talk a little more about women winning, and about the end of Frank's season. "It came down to traffic lights for you guys, didn't it?" she says. "Not even. It was the first cab we tried to get. He was like, 'I don't go to Queens.' And I said, 'I'll give you a hundred dollars.' 'Naw, I don't go to Queens.'" Bummer, huh?

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Amazing Race

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