They all read from the clue that they'll need to fly to Santa Barbara. Won't that be a short flight? Cousins Kerri and Stacy are the next to find their clue, followed by Brendon and Rachel, then Other Rachel and Dave. "Where's Santa Barbara?" Rachel wonders aloud, triggering the vibro-slap fail noise as though that's the stupidest thing we're going to hear her say. Nary and Jamie, the two feds, are the seventh team to find a clue. "We're in Santa Barbara," one of them points out, almost correctly. Unsurprisingly, Elliot and Andrew are the first to reach their car, with the other leaders close behind. As everyone drives off, a video screen on the dashboard of each car plays a clip of Phil telling them to go to Santa Barbara, Argentina, via the American Airlines ticket counter at LAX, then Buenos Aires. Only the first six teams will get to be on the first flight from Buenos Aires to Salta. That's the location of the nearest airport to Santa Barbara, a small town that looks like the set of a spaghetti Western. Santa Barbara to Santa Barbara, get it? "Not bad for our first Amazing Race!" Brendon crows to Rachel in their car. Oh, my God, don't even fucking joke about that. Other Rachel, behind the wheel, refers to the Rachel in the car ahead of them as "Sparkles" for her sequined green top. Obviously Other Rachel is not a Big Brother viewer, or "Sparkles" isn't the first nickname that would have come to mind. "She looks like Shamrock from Rainbow Brite," Other Rachel comments. Dave and Cherie are happy to get their clue in eighth place, with Art and JJ the ninth team to find a laden basket, and the two very sweaty border patrol agents get into a car to LAX. And then it's the Season 20 credits, which feature racers, exotic animals and locations, and a particular brand of car. Just saying.
Back to the vineyard, where Team Kentucky and the golfing sisters are still searching the balloons, and already getting worn out before they're even out of sight of the Starting Line. Mark, in fact, is fixing to throw up, but they're not the last team to get their clue, as the sisters hear them (actually Bopper) doing loud corn-pone crowing all the way back down the hill while they're still searching. While Bopper drives down the road, Mark leans out the back window and says he's "Bakin' like a soup bone in a pot o' taters." Seriously, he says this. Are racers being specifically instructed to embrace their stereotypes at every possible opportunity? Bopper refuses to pull over to let Mark throw up, so Mark has to puke out the window at a traffic light. Bopper is not terribly supportive, but from listening to him, he is very Southern.