At the pit stop, Lori and Bolo get parked first, and Kris and Jon can't make up the difference, so the next team to the mat is...Lori and Bolo. Welcome rasslers, you are team number three. They are happy. Phil calls over Kris and Jon, and they're team number four. Love!
Hayden and Aaron jump into their car, and he says they can try a shortcut. Spazpants argues over whether they're last. That's productive. Aaron and Hayden bicker over directions. Spazpants bickers over directions. Both teams get to the pit stop area (or so we are led to believe). Jonathan and Victoria walk toward the mat. But partway there, she sees Aaron and Hayden behind them, so they really did get that close. Spazpants starts to run. The teams run. Phil waits. It's impossible to tell, and then...they're on the mat. "Phil, you're a hard man to find," Jonathan says. "Not as hard as I will be to find after I take a restraining order out on your ass," says Phil, in the dream sequence running in my head. On my TV, Phil just stares. But then he tells them they're team number five.
Sad music plays. Hayden and Aaron, you're the last team in. But -- you're not eliminated. Because one out of the last three episodes already was significant -- we don't want to let the excitement level become too pitched. Whoever came up with combining (1) a random double-length leg; (2) a clip show; and (3) a non-elimination in the a four-episode sequence really needs to stop and think, and/or quit smoking dope. Anyway, Aaron really doesn't look happy. I think that is a very sad dude. Not good relationship thoughts that boy is having. At any rate, Phil takes their money, and they'll get no more for the next leg -- which you know will be meaningless, because they'll beg, and however long it takes to beg, they'll hit one of the three or four twelve-hour bunches of the leg, and all will be well. Aaron interviews that he's frustrated that Hayden's shitty behavior "keeps on happening and happening." He says that no matter how hard he tries to calm her down, "nothing's working." She goes on to say that it was probably her doing today that they didn't do well. "I could have cost us the whole race," she observes. You could cost yourself more than that, sweetheart, in case you're not reading your boyfriend's expressions as well as you should be.
Executive Producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.
Next week: Yet another Spazpants verbal abuse scenario, to the point where Kendra intervenes. KENDRA. To teach KINDNESS. In other words? The season continues its tour of the doldrums.