The Frat Boys arrive at the monastery next, and hymn practice seems to be over as they light their candles and receive their clue. While leaving, they pass Ken and Tina on their way in. With both teams duly clued, they get back in their cabs and head for the base.

Dallas and Toni arrive at the military base first and quickly spot the clue box standing out in a field, in front of a big army truck for added contrast. The envelope contains a Detour. Cut to Phil, with soldiers in fatigues scurrying past him in the background as he says the two choices will "entrench them in Russia's strong military tradition." The choice is "Boots" or "Borscht." For both of them -- both of them, mind you -- the teams have to change into Russian uniforms, including the cloth foot wraps that they apparently have to wear instead of socks. Then, for "Boots," they need to join a drill team to march a lap of the parade grounds, using a formal march that requires exaggerated, straight-legged steps. In "Borscht," they serve -- you guessed it -- borscht to 75 Russian soldiers, who are waiting patiently in front of empty bowls at a long table. Both of these seem easy enough, right? For most of the teams, it will be.

But before we get to that, let me tell you about the significance that the word "boots" holds in our house. When M. Edium used to watch Dora the Explorer, Trash and I used to marvel at the apparent crippling mental disability of her talking monkey sidekick, Boots. Eventually the word "Boots" became a euphemism for much ruder words like "idiot" and "moron." But more on that later.

Dallas and Toni opt for Boots. They are led past a military band into a barracks tent lined with cots. On each cot waits a folded Russian uniform complete with a nametag. As they change, Toni and Dallas figure they're in the lead, since all the other uniforms are untouched. Run your own race, you two. As they step back outside the tent, a few soldiers are wrapping their feet as a demonstration, and Toni impatiently instructs Dallas to watch so he can do it right. Apparently it's a little tricky. I'm really not sure what the Russians have against socks in the first place. Maybe it dates back to World War II, when they also didn't have boots.