Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
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That Is Studly

Pit Stop! Phil tells us they'll now have to make their way "through Moscow's infamous traffic to Neskuchny Sad park in the center of the city." Apparently the locals call it a "fun garden." I'm glad to hear that Muscovites have access to locally-grown fun. Phil adds that the last team to check in may be eliminated. Which, if true, would make next week's penultimate episode a little boring, don't you think? As Toni and a flour-covered Dallas ride in their cab to the Pit Stop, he says winning this leg will be nice momentum for the last couple of legs. As if this race is about momentum. Leaving the Pit Stop three hours ahead of the Frat Boys only helps them so much when they all end up on the same flight to the next destination.

Ken finishes carrying the flour, and leans over the counter to give the Russian lady a kiss on each cheek as he gets his clue. "Good job, you did awesome," Tina says in their cab to the Pit Stop. I assume she means the part where he carried the flour, and not the part where a smooched another lady. Ken doesn't think Nick will be able to do that at all. What's Starr, chopped liver? By now she's so tense she'll probably be able to move those bags with her eyebrows.

Nick and Starr finally arrive at the bakery and summarily fire their cabbie, who stands there looking a little confused at the snub. Back to the Bada Bingsky, Boris. "Jeez, I gotta do fifty of these?" Nick complains as he brings his first pair of bags in with his arms wrapped tightly around them. The baker actually cracks a smile as Nick drops them on the floor, and when he leaves the room, she tells us, "He's not fit." A Russian accent makes everything funnier. Right, Yakov Smirnoff? On his second trip to the truck, Nick realizes he's going to have to do these one at a time.

The two lead teams are each hoping to beat the other to the Pit Stop. As you do.

"Dallas can probably, like, palm these," Nick cracks as he shoulders another bag. Starr licks her lips, because that's the one thing he could have said to cheer her up. In the Frat Boys' cab, Dan is paying their cab driver a compliment. I think you'll still have to pay him money as well, dude. As Nick delivers his 31st bag, Starr reminds him, "It's your birthday. Make some cake." She even encourages him to take a break if he needs one, which can't be easy for her. And while still riding in the cab, Dan compares himself and Andrew to the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare story. "The tortoise beats the hare," Dan says. "We're the tortoise. We've been the tortoise this entire race." Wait, I'm not sure I'm thinking about the same story. In the one I'm thinking of, the hare loses by combining occasional bursts of speed with long stretches of slow-moving idiocy. Dan must know another version.

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Amazing Race

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