Amazing Race
Amazing Race

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1142 USERS: C+
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I had this dream where I hugged Loud Pushy Frank

As we cruised into the last segment, the shot came up of Esquire on the train, and then of Frank and Margarita back in the station. A collective gasp went up in the bar, including a bit of noise from me. A few minutes later, there was that nutty Esquire, up on the podium with Phil. I can honestly tell you I was entirely shocked. Like, drop-dead, knocked-out shocked. Sars can confirm that she and I had talked, about three hours before the finale started, about how sure we were that it would be Frank and Margarita, because we just didn't see the Guidos catching up, and it obviously wasn't going to be Esquire. How had we been so sure? Because we've watched television before. The tale of Frank and Margarita was so compelling. Their story arc was so obvious. It was a movie. Obviously, it wouldn't be the attorneys. Furthermore, I think I secretly believed that somehow, if Rob had won, I would have been able to tell. Wouldn't I? Apparently not. Lawyers really are sneaky.

Meeting The Contestants

It was about a half hour after the show ended when the contestants started showing up. We'd heard rumblings that they might come, or that they'd try to come, but I'm not sure anyone there was ready for what we got. I certainly wasn't.

"Drew and Kevin. Ah, Drew and Kevin. Fraternity brothers and best friends, they have shaved their heads, which they think makes them look cool, but which actually has the same effect it has on most men, which is to make them look like giant roll-on deodorants."

The arrival of Kevin and Drew was an event. Neatly dressed and as smooth as a vanilla shake, they slid in the door and were immediately among precisely the adoring crowd the behavior of the forums would suggest. I was struck by the urge to say, "Welcome, Davy Jones and Desi Arnaz, Jr.!" I shook Drew's hand as he went by, but we didn't talk. It was noisy, after all, and I didn't know what to say anyway. I suspect I would have come up with something extremely intelligent, like "fuh." ["I went with 'eeeee!'" -- Sars] When I introduced myself to Kevin, I did manage not to say "fuh," but I used my real name, which of course meant absolutely nothing to him. I said something about "recapper," but the volume in the room was so extraordinary that he didn't hear me at all. It wasn't until maybe ten minutes later that I saw him working his way back in my direction. I'd been pointed out. "You have to tell me these things," he said with a grin. (You know it -- it's The Grin. Well, you know it from TV, of course, and as much as it's going to pain some of you, I must say that in person, it's better. Sorry.) "You have to talk MBTV to me, or it doesn't mean anything. You have to say, 'I'm Miss Alli, whatever,' because otherwise I don't recognize it." Hee. He gave me a hug. Said nice things about the recaps. Very cool. I remember being very aware that we were blocking the bathroom door during this conversation -- that's just how incredibly laid-back and relaxed I was feeling.

Amazing Race

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