So I basically got Esquire on the hook for an interview when I first met Rob in Minnesota during Episode Six. It took us forever to set it up, but eventually I got my act together, and we spent a lovely evening yakking about a little of this and a little of that. Or, actually, a lot of this and a lot of that.
I swear, this is how the interview started.
The Esquire phone: [Ring, ring.]
Miss Alli: Hi, I'm a deranged fan, can I have a thousand dollars?
Rob: [chuckles] Heeee-llo. No, no money for you.
Miss Alli: No money for me?
Rob: No money for you. Have you figured out what you're going to sing on the cherries and spoon yet? [Note: Rob sold his hat and his ID tag on e-Bay, and originally set the price of the hat at $500. In a reckless moment, I mocked him, promising that if anyone paid $500 for his hat, I would sing a song about it at his favorite Twin Cities landmark. Somebody -- named austin_marathoner -- bought it, and the ID tag as well, which was priced at $325 when we did this interview. Turns out that landmark-wise, Rob is partial to a Minneapolis sculpture of a cherry sitting on a spoon at the Walker Art Museum.]
Miss Alli: Shut uuup.
Rob: Come on come on, you've got to come up with something good.
Miss Alli: Cherries and spoon, my ass.
Rob: You know, actually, whoever this this austin_marathoner guy is, he's not an insider, I have no idea who it is.
Miss Alli: Really? Is that true?
Rob: Yeah, honestly, I have no...I assume I'll find out when he, you know, calls to collect, 'cause I don't think he's going to get outbid on either of them, but I really don't know who it is.
Miss Alli: Somebody's spending, like, $835 for your stuff, dude.
Rob: I know. I think I'm going to put my passport up too, actually.
Miss Alli: I would, too, if you're getting bites like that! I'm going...I'm going at least five bucks on the Muppet shades.
Rob: [laughs] Yeah, the Muppet shades could go.
[Here, Brennan picks up the extension and says hello.]
Miss Alli: Do you still have the Muppet shades?
Rob: I do still have the Muppet shades, as a matter of fact, although I thought we'd proved through discourse that these were not Muppet shades.