Amazing Race
The Family Christmas Card

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Even pink girls get the blues

We return to the GabbleGabbleGabbleskis, where Sharon and Michelle are still fighting. Finally, Sharon gives in and gets on the cart. As she does, Michelle says, "You tell me when you're in, when you're secure." "I think you know when I'm in, Michelle, you don't have to be a smart-ass." But right on the word "smart-ass," Michelle's like, "Okay!", and she drives off, and because Sharon is seated on the back rather than in the passenger seat, she almost slides right off as Michelle lurches the thing forward. So Sharon sort of finishes her indignation over being warned not to fall off the cart while grabbing on so that she doesn't fall off the cart.

The Bransens pull into a gas station and ask for directions to Green Meadow Ranch. The Linzes come into town and do the same.

The Weavers get their last ball and get back to the start, where they turn in their balls and leave. Christine is not happy that it wasn't Sharon and Michelle who came back. The Weavers leave, with Mama says that was the most frustrating thing she's ever done. I find that difficult to believe. She then prays for the Gadzookskis to take a long time to finish the Roadblock.

Finally, Sharon and Michelle find their last ball and head back to the tenth tee. "We had a meltdown!" Michelle announces loudly as they return to Tricia and Christine. They pull the pit stop clue and head out, hoping that the Weavers got lost or had car trouble. Or experienced the rapture, I suppose.

The Bransens find their way to the ranch. The Linzes are looking as well. The Bransens start hunting around for the mat, and then the Linzes are there, and they're running as well. It is indeed Wally and the Tonyas who arrive on the mat first. Welcome, you are team number one. You are in the final three, and you have won a Buick Lucerne. Just like a golf cart, see? Right behind them are the Linzes, who are team number two again. You are in the final three also, kids. Good show.

The Weavers are in town, and as they look for the pit stop, a siren sounds. Rolly immediately goes to put on his seatbelt. Because...yes. It turns out that these kids, whose father died in a spectacular car accident, never wear their seatbelts. Ever. Obviously, Rolly has been well-taught, though, since his first instinct is to reach back and try to make it look like he was wearing his seatbelt the entire time. He's certainly been raised to be honest, that one. As it turns out, the issue is Rebecca's speed. The police officer takes her license and registration and so forth. But after a quick check-in with the Godlewskis, we find out that Rebecca will only be getting a warning for her infraction. The Weavers apologize profusely. Not only do they receive no penalty of any kind, but Mama takes this opportunity to ask the police officer for directions, which he gives her.

Weavers and Godlewskis, looking for the ranch. And in the Weaver car, the fuel level is so low that the dashboard is actually dinging. "That's what I said from the beginning; no one listens," Rachel complains. But fortunately, they're at the ranch. There is a lot of trying to create suspense here, and you can still hear the dinging as the Weavers jump out of their car, but the Weavers are indeed there ahead of the Godlewskis. They are the ones who get to the mat, they are the ones who are team number three, they are the ones who will be in the final. And for whatever reason, they get yet another speech from Phil about how awesome they are. What the hell is that all about?

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Amazing Race

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