Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 495 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Aaaand they're off! Again!

Lori and Bolo are married and they're pro rasslers. Yeah, say it like that, people -- "rasslers." His facial hair is secretly a map to the lost city of Atlantis. As they do their first interview, it is difficult not to feel that the room is dominated by Lori's enormous boobs, even though she's saying something something something about how she's "a bitch" and he's "an intimidator," and then we watch them rasslin' in a ring in their backyard. Damn, I have those relationships too, but only figuratively. "There's nobody gonna be able to compete with us," Bolo says. And then we watch them do pull-ups, which is interrupted by Bolo's voice-over in which he cites the power of their "swah-vay on the streets." Er, "swah-vay"? I'm not even sure whether that's supposed to be "suave," in which case it makes absolutely no sense, or whether it's supposed to be "savvy," in which case it is a truly wretched example of bad pronunciation, or whether it's some combination of both, as I (depressingly) suspect. Maybe he thinks "Rico Suave" was just a song about a guy who knew where to find all the good airline tickets. ["It…wasn't?" -- Sars]

Don and Mary Jean are married grandparents, and they appear to even like each other, so that's a relief. You will be shocked to hear that Mary Jean expects to be underestimated. Oh, and apparently, they have an antique car and cultivate some kind of climbing vines. Yeah, I don't know. Don says that they're in the best shape they've been in for the last 30 years, so they've been rocking the water aerobics.

Avi and Joe are the latest in the continuing saga of O Kevin and Drew, Where Have You Gone, And Might We Find You Again Someday?. They're best friends from Brooklyn (yay!), and Avi explains that they both have "big brains," but only the taller, lankier, less bespectacled Joe has a "big heart." Avi says he doesn't have that. Me neither, dude. Joe says that Avi is "fiercely competitive." And apparently, "you don't want anybody else in your corn-ah." Unless you're looking for someone nice, apparently, which fortunately for me, I rarely am.

Amazing Race

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